The Oreo cookies that were to be a reward at the end of June for sticking to my new healthy eating/work out routine are gone. I ate them today. I needed to self medicate and as we all know that food is my drug of choice, I couldn’t resist. They were rather tasty, but after they were gone, I felt guilty and also upset with myself because long after the temporary high leaves, I’ll still be obsessing about the calories that I need to burn to get back to where I was yesterday. Plus now that the taste of junk is in my mouth, I’m already dreaming about other tasty things that are bad for me.
In unrelated matters, I got dressed up and went with friends to the Vodafone Derby, on Saturday. The weather was perfect and I won 23 pounds on the first race I bet on. Things went downhill after that, but I still end up 3 pounds ahead. So for a none gambler like myself, it was a good day at the races.
Digressing even more, wondering if anyone else out there is getting excited about the World Cup? I’m trying no to, since soccer can be really boring, but there is something to be said for nations from all across the globe coming together for a proper “world” tournament. I mean, can you really call the annual baseball championships the World Series if only teams from American and Canadian cities are involved?
Finally, after reading an article in the Sunday Times regarding the pecking order of last names in the UK, I tried to check the social standing of my own surname, but unfortunately it was not in the database. This slight kind of summed up what I’ve been feeling these past few weeks — insignificant — unworthy of a mention. I know that this is a bit dramatic, unwarranted and I’m being too hard on myself, but sometimes, things from the recent past, flood my memory and make the unreal and mostly negative feelings real. Plus I want so much for myself (no I’m not talking about materialistic things), and I’m having a difficult time envisioning it all happening. So feeling frustrated. Maybe I’ll talk about this feeling later. Then again, maybe not!