November 2, 2007 in Dating

The True Measure of a Relationship

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I read somewhere that you should give yourself one month for every year of a relationship to grieve when it ends. Based on this formula, I only have a few more weeks to go. Thank goodness. Week one was like a roller coaster ride with one too many drops.
The low point in the week came on Thursday when I arrived back at my desk from a lunch meeting with my firms public relations agency. There before me was a beautiful bouquet of flowers. As I reached for the card, I thought two people might have sent the flowers.
The first being my Best Guy Friend who I had called before and after the break up call. He knew how upset I was by it all so I thought he might have sent them to cheer me up. But I really hoped they were from Airport Guy. I wanted to believe that he cared enough to make this grand gesture.
So when I read the card and learnt they were from two colleagues in appreciation for the work I had done related to a conference they had presented at earlier in the week, I almost broke down in tears. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for the recognition, but I felt heartbroken. Why? Well they were a reminder that in the 10 months I dated Airport Guy, he never really did much of anything to make me feel special or appreciated. This was one of the main reasons I broke up with him. There was just lots of words with no action.
Now I’m not one of these women that needs to get gifts from a man to feel special or connected. However, I do want a man who can not only talk the talk but walk the walk. So please, no more empty promises or declarations of love too early in a relationship. When all is said and done, actions speak louder than words. So simply things like calling when you say you will matter. Also, if you genuinely love someone, why tell them that certain areas of your past are off limits for discussion?
Seriously, why is it so difficult for people to be consistent with their verbal and nonverbal communication? Now, I’m not professing to be perfect at this, but knowing that this is what I desire, I make an effort. Thus I expect the same from a potential boyfriend/husband.

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