April 1, 2003 in Dating

The Rules

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So a female colleague at work was asking our opinion about whether or not she should go out on a third date with this guy. She was hemming and hawing and really looking for a way to back out. Normally she would have politely declined the invitation without hesitation but since they had mutual friends she was struggling with the decision. Then she blurted out that the third date is the “sex” date and since she wasn’t really attracted to him she didn’t feel like being bothered. When I told her I had never heard that before, she wanted to know how long I normally wait. When I informed her that I usually like to wait at least 2-3 months, everyone started laughing. One guy in the group indicated that after 3-4 dates if no action came his way, he was so out of there. I was really surprised because most of the others in the group seem to agree with him. Considering we live in an age where you can catch sexually transmitted diseases so easily, I’m shocked that people still continue to be so free with their bodies. Don’t get me wrong; if the sexual attraction is intense, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have sex by the 3 or 4th date. But for this to be the standard expectation, I’m simple not down with that.


  1. April 3, 2003 at 11:09 am

    JCS/TK :)

    Well, it was technically the third date before we had sex…
    Honestly, I’d be outta there if a guy didn’t at least make a move toward sex by the third or fourth date.

  2. April 3, 2003 at 7:17 am


    Expected to have sex by the third date? That’s ridiculous. I’ve heard things like that before, but I still can’t believe that people really operate that way.

  3. April 2, 2003 at 10:17 am


    Wow. My now-husband and I were together 8 months before we slept together. That isn’t to say that we hadn’t done anything physical – but not sex sex.
    But then I’ve also had a one-night stand. So I don’t know if I can really talk. 🙂

  4. April 1, 2003 at 10:07 pm


    you and me both. maybe we’re just old fashioned.

  5. April 1, 2003 at 9:38 pm


    WOW…third date huh?? Hmmmm…what page of the “dating handbook” was that on? I guess that says very little about “natural attraction”. Perhaps I missed that lesson in sex ed! 🙂

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