So for a week now, I’ve been opening and closing this blog as I’m at a loss for words. Actually the words are in my head, but trying to figure out what to say has been most difficult. This is due to the fact that I’m currently on an emotional roaster. Much of that relates to my relationship with Racquetball Guy. We’re currently dealing with some major issues and I am finding it really hard to come to grips with the new reality of our relationship. One minute I am optimistic about the future. The next I am totally gloom and doom. For example, below is what I wrote on Tuesday night:

Racquetball Guy and I have broken up. We technically have not said these words to one another, but our relationship is hanging on by a thread that it is only a matter of time. I am sure this will be shocking to many of you, but for me, the writing has been on the wall. We still do love each other a great deal, but there are external issues that are getting in the way of the relationship. It was my hope that we could work through these very important issues together, but he wants to take a go it alone approach. Since this makes me most unhappy, I have decided that as difficult as it may be, it’s best to walk way. Perhaps sometime in the not too distant when the issues are resolved we can once again explore the possiblitity of being in a romantic relationship, but as of today, I consider myself a single woman.

Clearly that was a doom and gloom moment. So are we broken up? No. But time will only tell whether or not our love for each other is strong enough for our relationship to survive.