December 12, 2005 in Dating

Responding to Comments re Advice from A Reader

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I keep getting an error message when I tried and respond to the comments left under Advice from a Reader entry, so I’ll post here:

Toonces: Stop fantasying. I’m still 100% heterosexual. Not switching teams. Not even for a minute. But I have to confess that there is a racial angle to this saga. Part of me was turned off because ITGuy was black. I didn’t want to mention it before because I felt terrible, but it’s true.

Oh I was attracted to him physically (he was tall and really good looking), but I couldn’t help but see RacquetballGuy and every other black guy who had treated me terribly (including my own father). So I was turned off as I was projecting this past baggage onto him.

Now I’m not saying that guys from other races are better. I know they can be just as bad. I’m just saying that after this experience with RacquetballGuy where most of my negative stereotypes of black men played out, it’s made me be down on the brothers again. So I needed to step back because I really would like to see them in a positive light again. I just know that with ITGuy, I wasn’t there yet.

Heather: I just think I was projecting my negative experiences onto ITGuy. So I wasn’t ready. I wanted to be, but I just wasnt.

Ok, I know these comments might be controversial, but it’s what I’m feeling. So I’m putting it out there.

One Comment

  1. December 12, 2005 at 10:51 pm


    I, for one, can definitely relate.

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