October 30, 2007 in Christmas

Paper Trail

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I have decided not to dissect my relationship with Airport Guy via this blog. Mainly because I kept a paper journal during the relationship charting the many lows and highs. I did so as I was trying not to repeat the mistakes I made in relationship with Racquetball Guy. In the end, it was a review of the facts that got me to admit that things were not what they should be. So I suppose the paper journal served its purpose.
What I will say about the relationship, is that living in different parts of the globe on different time schedules posed the biggest challenge. Plus the fact that there was a major imbalance in the relationship in the beginning. Here, I am referring to the fact that I was a career girl in London and he was a graduate student in Jamaica. Thus the distance, different time schedules and just every day challenges made things complicated. We probably could have overcome these challenges had our communication been better, but its a bit different when one person (not me!) has a lot of rules about what they will and will not talk about.
So how am I adjusting to the single life? Honestly, I am still quite broken up about the end of the relationship and I imagine things are going to get worse as the Christmas holidays draw nearer. Thus, I was thinking about going home to Montserrat. It would be good to be around other family members. However, he will be down there and I think for now I need to keep my distance. I don’t want to run into him and run the risk of regressing. So not sure what yet to do with myself over the holidays.
I could go to Chicago, but my younger sister doesn’t celebrate Christmas since she married a muslim some years ago. I could also go to Boston to visit with my older sister, however, Boston at Christmas would just be too emotional. I have the most wonderful memories on my mother during our years in Boston and knowing that they came to an end some years ago still brings many a tear to my eyes.
So I might go to Rome for a week if I can get a good deal. And then maybe, just maybe if I can build up the courage go visit my father.


  1. November 4, 2007 at 1:41 pm


    Boston will always be my home home in the US and so I will definitely be back. As such will take you up on offer when I’m there next. Hopefully sometime next year!

  2. November 1, 2007 at 2:22 am


    If you ever do decide to come to Boston, please let me know. Maybe an unfamiliar face in a familiar place might add a light touch to your visit.
    I will be living abroad starting next year, but this is always home.

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