Painful Choices
It’s hard to remain friends with someone whose friendship reminds you of some of the painful choices you’ve made in your past. Particularly when that person harps on the negative…never realizing or acknowledging that you look back and wonder about what could have been. How you recognize that while it would have been difficult, you are extremely troubled by the fact that these mistakes and choices were made time and time again. How their insistence that the decisions made back then were and still are the right ones make you feel rejected at the core…and how painful that it really is to hear this time and time again. For once, it would be comforting to hear that it might have been a good thing…even if it would have been a struggle….even if it would have made things quite different.
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2 Comments
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March 25, 2003 at 3:51 pm
ursula
I haven’t decided to end the friendship, but I’m seriously considering it. It’s hard because there are so many good memories…but then the bad ones rearup…and it’s almost too painful to bear. It is not my intention to make this other person out to be a bad person. I take full responsiblity for the choices I’ve made.
March 24, 2003 at 11:27 pm
Philip
After reading this entry, I’d like to share a quote from Garrison Keillor about lost friendship — Friendships that once seemed permanent simply melt away for reasons that have nothing to do with ill feeling. Things change. And frankly, most friendships are fairly shallow and based on some fizzy table talk and youthful enthusiasm and some common experience that fades pretty quickly. A true friend is someone you could call up and say, “I’m a wreck and I’m coming over and staying with you for a couple days.” Or you could say, “I’m sorry to call you at 3 a.m. but I’m sitting in a truck stop confused and missing my pants and need you to come get me.” Not many people have the sense of loyalty to get them over the dry stretches and be real friends. A person is lucky to have two or three of those in a lifetime, and when they die off, they’re hard to replace. — just another perspective.