Almost two weeks ago I slagged off the UK version of Celebrity Big Brother. Now I find myself completely hooked. This is so pathetic.
So why am I captivated? Let’s see:
1. Dennis Rodman is trying desperately to get laid but none of the women in the house have yet been willing to give him any action. Particularly since he has no game when it comes to pulling women. Everything that comes out of his mouth is just crude and laced with sexual innuendo. However, he is making progress with Faria Alam who became famous (really infamous) for having an affair with the coach of the English soccer team. If she does eventually relent, I think she’ll be using him to aid her career. But I suppose one user deserves another.
2. Traci Bingham who hasn’t done anything significant since Baywatch, is becoming totally paranoid. Everyone is ignoring her. Sure she’s good looking but her conversation is self obsessed and lacking in any sort of depth. Surprisingly, she went to Harvard. Did you know that? I sure didn’t.
3. Transsexual Pete Burns who is somewhat vile to look at is loosing his effing mind due to lack of cigarettes, coffee and sleep. Thus he is now talking about leaving the house prematurely. But he might want to stay in there as long as he can. Particularly since Biodiversity Minister said that he could be jailed for wearing gorilla fur into the house. Apparently, owning a gorilla skin without a permit is illegal. Who knew.
4. Samuel Preston of The Ordinary Bands fame is cozying up to fake celebrity and Paris Hilton lookalike Chantelle Houghton. This wouldn’t be a problem expect that he has a live in girlfriend at home.
5. Left wing politician George Galloway who was accused by some US Senators of profiting from his Iraq oil dealings is becoming a laughing stock. Proof of this is when this leading Member of Parliament was on all fours as part of one of the task, purring and pretended to lick cream from actress Rula Lenska’s hands while between her knees. Oh it’s just too much. I mean, the man is supposed to be a leading statesman. Personally, I think he is somewhat misguided to think that going on Big Brother will help him connect more closely with the youth. Particularly since he has make no attempt to connect with the young celebrities in the house.
I could go on about the others, but I’m sure most of my US readers (yes, all 12 of you), probably wouldn’t know the rest of the idiotic bunch. Having said that, their actions make for good TV.