From Breadcrumbs to Toast
I have not heard from Basherter since I laid into him in March. Perhaps he finally understands my position — when I’m done, I done. I had told this to him before we stopped speaking, but I suppose he never thought it would apply to him. After all, while unsaid for much of our friendship, I was madly in love with him. But no more. I knocked that out of my system like a bad cold.
Besides getting rid of Basherter, as bonus, I’ve also gotten rid of his friend who continually phoned me to chitchat. This guy wasn’t much of a friend to Basherter as even though he is married, he continually made inappropriate comments. So good riddance to them both; especially Basherter.
So what else is happening on the man front? Well, I got a proposal — though somewhat indecent from an UpstartPolitican. Apparently, I have the ability to lead him astray which is tempting but for the fact that he is already married. He says I shouldn’t worry about such matters as he is a sharer. What that really means, I have no idea as he wouldn’t clarify. Now if I didn’t have morals, I would consider it. I do find myself drawn to him but I can’t or won’t walk over that line. I am wife material, not mistress material. Plus I don’t do secret relationships that are just about stolen moments and the ever-nagging question of when will I see you again. No! No! No! Not now, not ever.
So where does that leave things? Well, there is MrAllAmerican. I call him that as he played college football for one of the top NCAA programs. We dated in high school and upon reflect he is perhaps my first great love. He was the first boy to tell me how beautiful I was, and he did so not just when we were in private when in front of his friends and family. I found all of this slightly embarrassing but it sure as hell boosted my confidence.
We lost touch as we had a massive falling out about our senior year proms (we went to different high school). Then he was off to play Division I football with the ultimate goal of seeking fame and fortune; and I was off for new experiences at Michigan. So our worlds never collided again under last August. We reconnected after I had this vivid dream about him, and I just knew I had to track him down after twentysomething years.
As he wasn’t on Facebook or any social media for that matter, I had to ask a mutual friend about his whereabouts. Within a matter of hours, MrAllAmerican phoned, and it was almost like we never stopped talking. I felt like a giggling school girl again. So what will become of it? Well he is single which is a GREAT start but he is also far away that I’m just not sure. I’m over long distance relationships, even if both parties set a target date whereby which one person must move. So for now its just mindless but affirming banter.
In general though, I’m feeling optimistic that my time will soon come and in the words of Queen B aka Beyoncé “drunk and in love” (minus the Ike Turner/Anna Mae behavior).