Difficult Relationships
I’ve been thinking about how difficult it is to end relationships of any kind. If it’s toxic, you know you should leave because things really aren’t going to get better, but yet you hold on thinking I can fix this. I can make it better. Just one more chance I keep telling myself. But now I’m starting to ask myself, why postpone the inevitable? Things will only get better once I’ve moved on. While there will be a period of self doubt, in the end, things could only get better. Sticking around to be emotionally abused is not healthy. Plus, I don’t really want what I’ve been trying to hold to. So as difficult as it may be, it just might be time to be single for a while, so I can clear my head, recharge, and then start to pursue all those new opportunities I’ve ignored.
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7 Comments
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January 20, 2004 at 6:22 am
Trisha
It’s good to find you’re not the only one with these kind of problems. I’ve been with a man twice my age for 1 1/2 years and it’s been very dramatic. I would like to get on with my course and do “normal” things and I’m not sure if he can manage me having a life outside us. To be fair, he is trying to stop drinking now (he also suffers from clinical depression) and start a new life, but I’m scared of making commitments to him; our plan is to live together at some point – until now I’ve been sharing a room with him and running off to friends and family every time we have a fight. I don’t know what to do or think. Am I being a coward for being scared? I do think i love him, but living with him is very hard. Maybe if we both had our own rooms…
December 28, 2003 at 10:32 pm
Chantal
Gosh I couldn’t have said it better myself. I TOTALLY know how you feel. I just wish I could have enough courage to call it quits. I just recently had a baby with my boyfriend, but things haven’t been good for a long time now. He’s cheated on me several time, and lied to me that I can’t trust anything he says, although I still love him just as much as I did when we first met. I always give him another chance to prove himself yet it seems to be getting us nowhere. I need a lil romance in my life and he seems to be the last person who heats things up for me. I dunno what to do, it’s so hard to let go of something I’m so use to, yet I know I’d be better off in the end. It’s so confusing! Anyone know how to help?
November 16, 2003 at 1:18 am
Karen
Does anyone post here anymore? I see that the last post was mine and I was hoping for feedback from somebody
November 3, 2003 at 5:02 pm
Karen
I am so in tune with what all of you are saying. I have been with a man for over 6 years now and our relationship has gone progressively down the tubes. We both rely on one another for things in our daily lives, but when we are together, there is always such a strained feeling. I am tired of being wanted and needed in the ways that I am (they are not healthy and productive). The thought of not having the “good” things that we do occasionally share is overwhelming to me at times, but I know that the only way my life will ever improve is to move on. I set little goals for myself, but always “extend” them or don’t follow through. Is it possible to break this destructive pattern?
October 26, 2003 at 9:45 pm
Sarah
I am going through the same thing right now. I understand completely! I don’t really want to end this relationship, but its just not going anywhere anymore, we don’t have fun together were not happy when were around each other, its just gone down the tubes basically. I have just as much love for him as I did when we first met but he has changed. I want to move on so bad but I feel that I if I do I will go crazy without him and maybe do something to myself thats unhealthy. I do want to say that its over and see what he does but I’m afraid he won’t wake up and change and try to get a hold of me somehow. Its so very hard!! I love him so much and I am ultimately confused. But hang in there and I will too!
August 29, 2003 at 10:44 am
Becky
No joke, hon. Regardless of how toxic the relationship is, letting go of the familiarity and companionship of a good friend or lover hurts like hell. But when it comes down to it, you have to have the same compassion for yourself that you have for the other person, and that means taking care of yourself and getting yourself out of situations that stifle your growth. Hang in there, babe.
August 28, 2003 at 3:15 pm
brixton
You have just said everything I’m trying to say – everything I feel. I feel like I should give you a big hug. I’m so tired of aching. I just want my life to start.