Denying My Public
I survived Valentines Day night. It wasn’t so bad. I had agreed to go to this anti-Valentines Party at Bar Louie – Lincoln Park with my girlfriend but at the last minute I tried to back out. Let’s just say I was having a mini panic attack. But my friend laid it on heavy, so I ended up going since it is really bad form to cancel at the last minute (and she called me on the fact that I’ve done it quite a few times lately). Must admit I had fun as I met and talked to lots of interesting girls and boys. I never really had any doubts that I would. However, sometimes this fear comes over me and I don’t want to leave my house. This mostly happens in the winter. To be honest it has been creeping up a lot more lately. Why? Well it stems from the fact that I’ve become more self conscious about my body. Sad but true. But as my friend told me last night, while I’m working on my weight I really shouldn’t deny my public. She went on to say that I was smart, articulate, cultured (etc etc) and oh yeah beautiful and sexy! So I thank her for setting me straight and encouraging me to go out last night. You know, every now and then its nice to have someone stroke your ego.
February 17, 2003 at 5:50 pm
AKKKK! I lived up north (in Michigan) for 9.5 years.
I never wanted to leave my house in the winter either; not that it had anything to do with my body image (those issues stay with me regardless of the season). I just couldn’t cope with the dreary weather.
Move further south and you won’t have those problems, I swear! Glad to hear you had fun though.