April 4, 2004 in Dating

Date #1 with RacquetballGuy

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Many of you asked for it, so below is a summary of my date.

So it was almost 7pm on Friday night and he hadn’t yet arrived to pick me up. Feeling nervous, I downed another shot of vodka. I knew he was on his way, but I needed to calm my nerves as it was our first outing. We had exchanged emails for almost a month and then talked on the phone for about two weeks, so expectations were high. To make matters worse, my younger sister showed up as she had told her ex-husband to pick up their daughter at my house. Why she did that without asking me first, I have no idea.

As we all sat there waiting, I was hoping the ex would show up before my date so they could all be off, but no luck. My sister’s ex-husband and my date showed up at the same time. So quick introductions were made and then we were off. Based on my dates facial expressions and the comments he made, I could tell he was excited and happy that things had gotten this far and I was too. He was exactly as I had imagined and he warmed my heart by saying that I had exceeded his expectations.

In that it took him close to an hour to get from his office to my house (it would normally take 10-15minutes), we decided to skip the movie and just go to dinner. At dinner, the conversation flowed easily and I felt good about things. I think he did too as he alluded to other places we should go together and he even invited me to a White Sox game mid-April. Not wanting to over-commit to anything, I told him I would check my schedule but was sure to mention that I thought it was a lovely idea. As dinner wrapped, I felt good. I thought, here’s a guy that I’d really like to get to know better.

So I gave the signal and we headed to Border’s to hang out for awhile as we had some time to kill before his racquetball match. While he went off to look for books on sports, I went to the fiction section and it was there that things got interesting. For the first time in all my years of going into Border’s, a guy walks up to me and starts to hit on me. I thought great – I’m on a date and someone else is trying to pick me up. Not wanting to be rude to my date, I tried to brush this other guy off since I wasn’t really interested, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. So I just got up and walked away.

I found my date in the music section with a couple CDs in hand that he planned to purchase. Several times he asked if there was anything in the store that I wanted to get and I told him no as I have a long list of books on my night stand waiting to be read. As we exited the store, it was probably here that we should have parted. I felt good about things but it had been over 3 hours and truth be told, I wanted to get away. It wasn’t because I didn’t like him, he was really nice and a total gentleman the whole time (heck, he insisted on opening every door for me) — but it’s been so long since I went on a date with someone who had serious boyfriend potential that I got nervous. Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I wanted to go off and process my feelings for what I had transpired so far.

But as I had committed to going to his racquetball tournament if things went well, off we went. Once we arrived at the tournament location, he showed me around and then off he went to change for the match. When he came back he looked totally dorky with the headband and googles that they wear. And so my attraction to him went down several notches. In fact, I sort of just wanted to run away. But in that I was sort of trapped until the match was over, I tried to be a good sport about things. He ended up loosing and I thought that was some sort of omen.

As we drove back to the city, he spent the first 15 minutes over analyzing his game. Then he switched the focus back to our date and it was there that I said something that I would later regret. He asked me if I’d like to go out again and I said maybe. Deep down I meant yes, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I could sense his disappointment. I wanted to take it back, but I didn’t. I was tired (it was now 12:30am) and so while he processed what I said, I remained silent. Then we started talking again, and the conversation somehow drifted to homosexuality. He thought it was a lifestyle choice and I thought it was more genetic. So feeling frustrated by the conversation and what happened at the tournament, let’s just say that by the time he pulled up in front of my apartment building, all those warm and fussy feeling I felt earlier had totally gone away.

I think he could sense that so I thanked him again for dinner and told him that I really hoped he would call soon. But I said it in the way that a guy would say “I’ll call you” knowing deep down that he never would. Once I got upstairs and thought about things, I sort of felt like crap because here was a guy who was perfect on paper and part of me wanted to dismiss him for mostly superficial reasons. So I sort of sat there for awhile and tried to remember the first part of the date plus all our prior communication.

In was then that I decided that I would call in the morning when I knew his next racketball match was going on and thank him again for the date and wish him well with the tournament. So I did that Saturday morning but my timing was off and he picked up. He told me how much it meant that I’d called and when he alluded to going out again, I said yes. I think I owe it to him and mostly to myself to go out with this guy again. He’s almost perfect on paper, and instead of running from potential happiness, I want to see where this could go. So stay tuned. I can’t promise I’ll be this detailed in the future, but in that so many of you offered best wishes, I thought I’d let you know how things went. Now I’m feeling giddy again!


  1. April 6, 2004 at 1:53 pm

    Shasta MacNasty

    Ditto everyone else. You never know what may happen. First dates are always tough and usually deserve a second unless he does something really egregious. I’m glad you decided not to run and go for the second date. Keep us posted. 😀

  2. April 5, 2004 at 4:08 pm


    I’d say if he played squash, you’d have something to worry about, but since he’s a racquetballer, give him a chance, especially if you’re attracted to him.

  3. April 5, 2004 at 9:59 am


    Here’s to second chances. They can change a lifetime.
    And if not, it’s only one more date. I wish you everything your heart desires, Ursula. Good luck.

  4. April 5, 2004 at 9:20 am


    I resisted the urge to run from the last guy I dated and now he’s my husband. So a word to the wise…don’t let fear prevent you from at least exploring the possibilities. 🙂

  5. April 5, 2004 at 12:58 am


    i’ve run so damn much i should have mileage or those airport stickers on my ass. that quick gust of air that blew by yall, yeah that was me.
    urs, i’m glad you decided to go out one more time. everything went so well up until the racquetball game. if he started behaving oddly, it was probably due to his embarrassment over losing in front of you.
    good luck on date 2

  6. April 4, 2004 at 3:07 pm


    You know, we have a lot of similarities in this field.
    I’m glad you decided to stop running and take a chance…see where things go.
    Running is easy…I know…but you always end up running alone.
    Best of luck on your next date and future dates.

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