I have started and abandoned about 10 different posts in the last week or so. One related to Europe’s Muslim problem (total clash of cultures), the London Mayor being suspended for a month (so much for Democracy), growing pay gap between men and women (surprise, surprise!), etc. I could go on, but I hate to be a tease.
I have been distracted by living life which lately has revolving around going to work, exercising at the gym (I joined the very posh Esporta Health & Fitness Club), watching way too many home design shows and reading (I’ve finished 5 books since January). I’m also getting more involved with the Junior League of London and the Michigan Alumni Club.
But in the back of my mind, I can’t stop thinking about Racquetball Guy. So writing about anything else has felt somewhat disingenuous. So last night I picked up the phone to clear the air between us. I ended up leaving a rambling message about how pissed off and disappointed I was in his inability to follow through on promises made. I also asked him to call me. I doubt he will. As such, I plan to write a follow up email summing up my feeling and letting him know that I uncovered some less than flattering information about his character last November. I never really told him I knew, but I think the time has come.
I am hoping that by telling him, I’ll be able to let go of the negative energy that develops when I think of him. I’m tired of getting angry every time I think about his lack of honesty. Tired of feeling ashamed when I’ve done nothing wrong. Thankfully I got out when I did as the situation could have been more disastrous.
Recognizing that my telling him, might mean he never delivers on his outstanding promise, I’m still a woman on a mission. He needs to know that I’m more in tune with his true character. So why the rush to purge myself all of a sudden? Well, IT Guy is back in the picture. I am not sure if anything will come of this relationship (we haven’t even gone out again — yet), but if not IT Guy, I need to get my head ready.
With that said, despite the fact that I’ve grown quite a bit through the whole experience, I almost wish I could wipe the experience from my memory. The whole process has been rather painful and if I’m honest almost a greek tragedy from day one. I mean, did I mention that in the year and some we dated, 5 people around him died? Well that’s what he said.