Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet

A friend sent this to me (her stepmom sent to her) and I thought I would share. After 2 weeks of holiday festivities, this sums up what I’ve feeling:
‘Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d tasted,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces, and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I’d never said, “No, thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself (as I only can),
“You can spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore —
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.
Selected from Good Clean Fun List

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