I have cried so much these last two weeks that my tears could have turned the most barren place in Africa into a plush green garden. That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I did find myself crying a lot. I simple couldn't hold back the tears.
So why would I be crying when the year did get off to a fabulous start with trip to Amsterdam? Well, lots of reasons really. 1) I'm homesick which is understandable as I'm in the middle of my first year abroad and don't yet have a solid network of friends. 2) Work is somewhat frustrating. I thought I left all the drama and negative energy back at the Chicago office but things in the London office are getting quite interesting. 3)I had a really bad case of PMS. 4) Racquetball Guy promised to return something to me by last Friday and he failed to do so. 5) An opportunity that I was pursuing didn't pan out. 6) Saw a really sad love story (Brokeback Mountain) and read an even sadder novel (Man And Boy). 6) I’ve been listening to some really sad songs on my iPod.
So there you have it. The reasons the River Nile almost overflowed. I continue to work on building a dam as I do realize that despite all the challenges, I live a very good life. Having said that, its incredible frustrating to not have things the way I want them to be.
I hope the crying at least made you feel somewhat better. Usually, it helps me to just let it out. I am completely in awe of your moving waaaaay over there and I'm certain, if you choose to come back to the States, you'll have many fond memories.
You gave yourself good advice in your last post, when sad do not: see sad movies, read sad books and most especially don't listen to sad music. It's very strange how melancholia feeds itself. Hope you're a little happier today.
Oh there are such bad vibes floating around these days. I have not been crying a lot, but I want to. I hope that crying and listening to sad music helped a bit.