February 2006 Archives

I have started and abandoned about 10 different posts in the last week or so. One related to Europe's Muslim problem (total clash of cultures), the London Mayor being suspended for a month (so much for Democracy), growing pay gap between men and women (surprise, surprise!), etc. I could go on, but I hate to be a tease.

I have been distracted by living life which lately has revolving around going to work, exercising at the gym (I joined the very posh Esporta Health & Fitness Club), watching way too many home design shows and reading (I've finished 5 books since January). I'm also getting more involved with the Junior League of London and the Michigan Alumni Club.

But in the back of my mind, I can't stop thinking about Racquetball Guy. So writing about anything else has felt somewhat disingenuous. So last night I picked up the phone to clear the air between us. I ended up leaving a rambling message about how pissed off and disappointed I was in his inability to follow through on promises made. I also asked him to call me. I doubt he will. As such, I plan to write a follow up email summing up my feeling and letting him know that I uncovered some less than flattering information about his character last November. I never really told him I knew, but I think the time has come.

I am hoping that by telling him, I'll be able to let go of the negative energy that develops when I think of him. I’m tired of getting angry every time I think about his lack of honesty. Tired of feeling ashamed when I've done nothing wrong. Thankfully I got out when I did as the situation could have been more disastrous.

Recognizing that my telling him, might mean he never delivers on his outstanding promise, I'm still a woman on a mission. He needs to know that I'm more in tune with his true character. So why the rush to purge myself all of a sudden? Well, IT Guy is back in the picture. I am not sure if anything will come of this relationship (we haven’t even gone out again -- yet), but if not IT Guy, I need to get my head ready.

With that said, despite the fact that I've grown quite a bit through the whole experience, I almost wish I could wipe the experience from my memory. The whole process has been rather painful and if I'm honest almost a greek tragedy from day one. I mean, did I mention that in the year and some we dated, 5 people around him died? Well that's what he said.

Four jobs I’ve had:

Tutor, Urban Scholars Program
Research Assistant, Program for Research on Black Americans
Coordinator, Admissions Guaranteed Program
Business Development Consultant (I sold out and went corporate – show me the money!!!)

Four Movies I can watch over and over:

Lawrence of Arabia
The Godfather I & II (definitely not III)
It’s A Wonderful Life
Chariots of Fire

Four Places I’ve lived:

Chicago, Illinois, USA
Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
Boston, Massachusetts, USA
St. John’s, Monsterrat, West Indies

Four TV shows I love:

24
Grey's Anatomy
West Wing
My Name is Earl

Four places I’ve vacationed:

San Francisco, California
New Orleans, Louisiana
Grand Canyon, Arizona
Prudhoe Bay to Anchorage, Alaska

Four of my favorite dishes:

Lasagne
Macaronni and cheese
Chicken Risotto
Plain Cheesecake

Four sites I visit daily:

New York Times

Dooce
PerezHilton.com
If You Don't Like It

Four places I would rather be right now:

On a beach in Montserrat
Cross Country skiing and or Snowshoeing somewhere in Switzerland (I’ve never been)
Exploring Australia (I’ve never been)
In bed with a good book and a hot man! Oh yeah, Choo-Choo is at the foot of bed.

My new country of residence comes out on top of recent survey as the world's most favorite nation. Wow!

London , 21st February 2006 – Britain is the world’s top nation brand, according to the latest Anholt Nation Brands Index (NBI) created by nation branding expert Simon Anholt and powered by GMI (Global Market Insite, Inc.), a global market intelligence solutions provider. Switzerland and Canada are placed second and third respectively in the overall ranking, which was based on a survey of 25,907 people in 35 countries. This fourth global NBI survey polled respondents worldwide about how they view a country’s culture, people, and appeal as a place to visit, invest in or migrate to.

The US by the way, is number 10 on the list.

Birthday greetings to my eldest sister who turns 37 today! Also congratulations to my younger sister who just had a third child, a little girl last week.

Prague wins out. I'll be there middle/end of March. I can't wait!

If any other European City Tourism Boards want to offer me a free trip under the guise that I might write about their city on my blog, by all means, bring it on. I'd gladly whore this blog out for free trips. After all, I do have almost 5 weeks of vacation to take. More importantly, I love to travel to new "exotic" locations.

Speaking of wish, I need to plan my next trip. I was hoping to attend my Best Guy Friend's wedding in Las Vegas, but I just don't think I'll be able to make it. I feel terrible but I think he understands why I may just send a lovely gift instead. Main reason really is that I'm doing a big trip to Montserrat later this year that I'm sure will cost me a fortune. Well only because I want to go at the height of the summer season. Plus there is also talk of a family reunion in Mississippi.

So I need to plan a cheap mini-break for sometime in March. I was originally planning on Rome, but a Chicago based work colleague wants to come over in the fall to see the Colosseum and other wonders and so I will defer until then. So in the running is Brussels, Copenhagen and Prague. I'm leaning towards Prague, but I'll a little nervous about going by myself. Mainly because I've watched one too many Hollywood films that makes the city seem mysterious and a little bit dangerous. But I just might take a chance. So stay tuned to find out which city I eventually settle on.

Superbowl
I didn't watch the game. Mainly because that meant with the time difference, being at a bar late on a Sunday evening/early Monday morning. Also, partly because I wasn't really interested in either teams playing. I had planned to watch the commercials online, but now I can't be bothered. Strange how things that use to be rituals in the US aren't so important to me anymore.

TopGear
I have my drivers license, but I hardly ever drive. Mainly because I don't have a car, but also partly because I'm really not that interested in driving. Yup -- despite the aggrevation at times, I'd rather just take public transportation. Perhaps that's the city girl in me. But every time I watch TopGear on BBC, I want to run out and buy a car. I think a lot of the attraction has to do with one of the main presenters, Jeremy Clarkson. He is super hot! Ok, I know, he's a bit old, slightly cubby, and also somewhat pompous, but there is something very attractive about him. More importantly he makes driving seem really cool.

Tiffany & Co
I spent Thursday night working a charity event at the Tiffany store on Sloane Street organized by the Junior League of London. I also had time to browse around and was so tempted to purchase my first piece of Tiffany jewelry -- but I resisted the urge. Thinking I'll leave that honor to my Prince who will hopefully show up sooner rather than later.

Winter Olympics
I am kicking myself for not going to the Winter Olympics. I know it was the sensible thing to do financially, but Turin is so close to London. Damn all the price gouging (really on the part of hotels) that kept me away.

Naval Academy Guy
I don't often remember my dreams, but I always seem to remember the ones involving my ex-boyfriend from college, Naval Academy Guy. I had such a dream last night. Like most of the dreams, it involved me being around his family, us getting engaged and later married. I suppose this has something to do with the fact I consider him to be the one that really did get away. Goodness! Whatever the reason, I wish this reoccurring dream to stop. It is emotionally exhausting to keep looking back and I'd really prefer not to do that.

I think it would be a real shame if Macy's who recently purchased Marshall Fields were to go through with plan to phase out this strong regional brand name. For goodness sake, the original store on Chicago's State Street has been serving customers since 1852. As such, I have signed the online petition emailed to my by a friend asking Macy's to keep the Marshall Field's name. Hopefully, a few of you out there who also have fond memories of shopping at this landmark store will also do the same.

My Best Guy Friend turned me on the Ricky Gervais podcast. Having listened to a couple episodes of the radio show, I hereby pronounce it to be some funny sh*t! So if you want to laugh long and hard, I'd recommend that you download and listen. Particularly since it’s free!

The thing that bothered me most these last few weeks was the situation with Racquetball Guy. We had a conversation where he unexpectedly agreed to return something to me by a certain date. I then got all excited thinking it would happen. Then when said day came and went and nothing happened, I sent an email. He hasn't responded. This really upset me.

I know that we are no longer dating, but I just assumed that the love that was once there meant that we would continue to treat each other with a certain level of respect. For me in this situation, that meant providing an update as to why the promise would not be kept. But that didn't happen.

And after a week of waiting, it was at that point that I called my Best Guy Friend in tears. I was furious that Racquetball Guy would be so uncaring. I was even more upset at myself for getting involved with him in the first place. So through my tears and mumbled words, Best Guy Friend tried to be supportive but at the same time challenge me on some of the statements I was making about my past relationships with men.

For example, I considered every romantic relationship I've ever had to be a complete and utter failure. I mean, for me success meant dating someone, getting engaged, getting married, having children and then living happily ever after. Anything less was a failure. I am now starting to realize that this definition might not be a healthy way of looking at things. After all, I have learnt somethings about myself from each relationship that has ended up helping me become a better person. So that in and of itself that has been a good thing. Plus, despite the fact that the romantic side of things haven't always worked out, I have made some solid friendships along the way.

Perfect example is Best Guy Friend. We met the fall of 1991 when I was a senior at Michigan. It wasn't exactly the best of times as I had just been dumped by another boyfriend. And despite the negative stuff he heard about me, he still wanted to spend time with me. Now our romantic relationship hasn't worked out (for good reasons I might add), but through all the headache, I've gained a dear friend for life. So dear in fact, that should I get married, I'd like him to walk me down the isle because really, he has been the most supportive male figure in my life these last 15 years.

So, despite that fact that I feel hurt by Racquetball Guy, I'm going to try and stop considering the relationship, a complete failure. Granted, I didn't get the happily ever after, but there were some good things about the relationship. So in an effort to move on and not feed off the negative energy, I'm going to focus on the positive. More importantly, really internalize what I know to be true, he wasn't the one and by continuing to wallow in self-pity, I'm jeopardizing being open and emotionally available, should the "right one" appear before me.

I have mixed feelings about State and National Lotteries. I realize that they provide much needed funding to schools and various charities -- but I can't completely support them as I think they pray on poor people who can least afford to spend their money buying lottery tickets. As such, I can count on one hand the number of times I've purchased a lottery ticket.

However with the Euro Millions lottery at £150Million (about $200Million) this week, I couldn't resist buying a ticket. Truth be told, I purchased two tickets. I didn’t really expect to win, but hey, one never knows. As such, I am pleasantly surprised that I won £7.10 from my initial £3 investment. Yeah me!

My current reality is completely different from this song, but I can't stop listening to it over and over again. Particularly since unlike some others that I'm deleting from my iPod, this one makes me feel really really happy.

The Weather Girls

It's Raining Men Lyrics

Hi - Hi! We're your Weather Girls - Ah-huh -
And have we got news for you - You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely girls
and leave those umbrellas at home. - Alright! -

Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low
According to all sources, the street's the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men.

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean

God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Ame---------nnnn!

I feel stormy weather / Moving in about to begin
Hear the thunder / Don't you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed

God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
It's Raining Men! Yeah!

Humidity is rising - Barometer's getting low
According to all sources, the street's the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining men.

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men!

I have cried so much these last two weeks that my tears could have turned the most barren place in Africa into a plush green garden. That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I did find myself crying a lot. I simple couldn't hold back the tears.

So why would I be crying when the year did get off to a fabulous start with trip to Amsterdam? Well, lots of reasons really. 1) I'm homesick which is understandable as I'm in the middle of my first year abroad and don't yet have a solid network of friends. 2) Work is somewhat frustrating. I thought I left all the drama and negative energy back at the Chicago office but things in the London office are getting quite interesting. 3)I had a really bad case of PMS. 4) Racquetball Guy promised to return something to me by last Friday and he failed to do so. 5) An opportunity that I was pursuing didn't pan out. 6) Saw a really sad love story (Brokeback Mountain) and read an even sadder novel (Man And Boy). 6) I’ve been listening to some really sad songs on my iPod.

So there you have it. The reasons the River Nile almost overflowed. I continue to work on building a dam as I do realize that despite all the challenges, I live a very good life. Having said that, its incredible frustrating to not have things the way I want them to be.