July 2005 Archives

It just got off the phone with my best guy friend's fiancée. She is graciously helping with the paperwork needed to get Choo-Choo ready for his imminent departure to London. I can't wait for his arrival. Truth be told, I have missed him a great deal -- more than I ever imagined.

I received a notice earlier this week from DHL indicating that they attempted to deliver a package to my home address. I immediately thought it was perhaps an early birthday present, so the next morning, I excitedly called to have it redelivered to my work address. Upon its arrival to my office the next day, I was disappointed to see that it was just a reimbursement check from insurance company for minor damages caused to personal items in the move from Chicago to London. Now granted I am glad to get the check, I was so hoping it was a gift from a family or friend who was thinking of me. With that in mind, I decided to update my amazon wishlist with books from the Modern Library list of 100 Best Novels. So perhaps in the coming weeks, I'll get another package or two which I know will bring a big smile to my face. Yes! Yes! I know this post is quite shameless, but now that my commute is at least an hour each way, I would like to use the time to read a few more good books.

Thought of the day:

Be wary of wolves in sheeps clothing.

That is all.

Just got back from lunch and heard that 3 bombs had gone off a few minutes ago. I don't really know the details but its making me nervous again.

Update (2:08PM): Official note from management, do not leave the building.

Update (2:35PM): Another note from management. One of the suspect buses was close to my work location.

On this basis, please do not leave the building and try to use the tube until we receive a further update.

Update (5:25PM): I'm still at work. I want to get home but I just don't want to deal with what I'm sure will be a crazy rush hour.

Update (6:27PM): BestGuyFriend, where are you? I'm trying to call......

Update (10:30PM): After a two hour commute, I made it home. I suppose I should be thankful, but I'm starting to feel depressed. Six months ago when I decided to move forward with the move to London, the only real negative (beyond the English weather) that I could think about was the expense of living here. Not once did I even think about potential terrorist attacks. Now here I am in the middle of it. It's all too exhausting. Goodness! I'm starting to think this move was not one of my better ideas. Hmmmm. I suppose only time will tell.

Seeing War of the Worlds so soon after the London bombings was not my best idea. Despite the fact that the reason given for the war itself was not really clear, the almost annihilation and destruction of the earth (really certain parts of America), made me scared beyond belief. It also makes me wonder if there really are other civilizations out there watching and waiting to come and descend on us. I only hope that is they do, they come peacefully. If not, I only ask that their reason for violence be clear. I can't stand senseless aggression or a war without purpose or conviction for that matter.

I keep dreaming about the same old boyfriend. The one that went to the Naval Academy. I wonder if he still thinks about me. I also wonder why I keep dreaming about him. Part of me wants to contact him, but he is married with two children and that would just be really awkward. His wife was my replacement. Well actually, he cheated on me with the woman who then became his wife. Now granted this was from our college years (so I'm not still holding a grudge), I can't understand why he he appears so often in my dreams.

Sent to me by a former boss, pictures showing the stages of life for a hummingbird captured over 24 days. Just beautiful.

John Donne the English poet and writer said:

...No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee...

Basically, as Thursdays actions made clear, we all need reinforcement. We all need support. This I must remind myself every time I think about staying home and not making the effort to get out there and meet more people. I'm not shy once I get going, but finding the motivation and energy to make the effort can be lacking at times. Particularly since as I grow older, I'm more choosey about whom I'd like to be friends with. Plus the daily commute of going into Central London is quite exhausting. Most days, I'm out the door by 7am and I'm lucky if I get home by 7pm.

So by the time I have dinner and am relaxed, its time for bed again. But I know that if I'm going to have a more enjoyable time in London, I really need to make the effort. Plus I definitely need to stop looking back and hoping for things that may never happen. It is time to think about starting to date again. But before that, it's definitely time to start making the effort to meet more people for possible friendship. I need to build my network. So I am setting a goal for myself. I have to attend at least one new event a week. Let's see if I stick to it. Hopefully I can. Otherwise, moving here from Chicago without any significant change will become a wasted opportunity.

After a restless night of sleep, I went back to work yesterday. I could have stayed home, but I decided that it was important to try and get back to doing the normal everyday things. So back on the commuter rail train I found myself. Most mornings, except for my crush (no I haven't spoken to him yet); I hardly take notice of anyone on the platform. However, yesterday I was being real observant and let me say that I felt somewhat distressed by the number of people carrying backpacks. One woman who sat down next to me had a huge one and it was only after she opened it and took out a book to read that I felt relaxed. Part of me wishes they would ban large packages on the train, but I know how impractical that would be. Heck, I know there are times when I'll be on with a large bag. So I'll just have to get use to it and hope that with the increased police presence and other actions being taken, we won't have a repeat of last's Thursday’s cowardly actions.

Despite my better judgement, I am now engrossed with the news coverage and I am paying close attention to what the politicans and other community leaders have to say in response to the terrorist attacks. I particulary like what Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor had to say. Below is an excerpt:

This was not a terrorist attack against the mighty and the powerful.

It was not aimed at presidents or prime ministers. It was aimed at ordinary working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old.

Indiscriminate slaughter irrespective of any consideration for age, class, religion, whatever.

That isn't an ideology. It isn't even a perverted faith. It is just an indiscriminate attempt at mass murder.

Amen. I just don't understand why these people (whoever they are) insist on attacking innocent civilians. There cause, whatever it is, is not helped by these senseless acts of violence. This is just pure wickedness.

To all of you who have reached out to check on me, thank you. I am overwhelmed with emotion.

Today's events are almost surreal. Once we got word that in addition to the train accident a bus had also been blown up, things were in slow motion and it was a bit touch and go as to what we were suppose to do. First they told us to stay in the building as they didn't want people rushing into the streets as they didn't know if there would be additional explosions in the city. However, as my work building is on top of the City Thameslink rail station, not too far from where the explosions happened, management made the executive decision that we should leave. And that is what we did. We got out quick.

However, once downstairs, we were unsure of how to proceed. We couldn't stand around as we were on top of the very reason for leaving and as attempting as it was to head for a pub to wait the situation out, many of us thought it was best to head for home since the journey would not be easy. Lucky for me, a couple of colleagues also live SW of the city, and so we headed off in that direction. The first initial minutes there was an eerie feeling. There were some people about, but not as many as we expected – and those that were out were quietly walking along. There was no hysteria.

Five minutes into the walk, we had to cross over the River Thames Blackfriars Bridge and it was at this point that I started to panic. There were police cars at the edge of the bridge checking man holes. I didn't want to cross but it was either that or go back. So one of my colleagues linked arms with me and we pressed on in a hurried manner. Once safely over the bridge, we decided to walk towards the Waterloo rail station to see if it was open. It had started to rain and the 6 mile journey south was bound to be unpleasant. There were no cabs in sight.

Surprisingly, while the underground portion was closed, they were still running overhead (commuter) trains. So after some discussion and checking around for police presence, we hopped a rail train home. Less than 30 minutes later, the almost empty train pulled into the Wimbledon station and I felt a sense of relief to be away from Zone 1 in Central London.

Once I got through the door, I made the conscious decision not to watch television. Being alone, far away from home, I didn’t want to break out in a full fledged panic attack. As is apparent from my post below, rumors were swirling and it was unclear as to what exactly had happened. So after making the final entry in post below so everyone would know I was safe, I went to bed. It was difficult to sleep at first but slowly I drifted off for a few hours. My body while not physically tired was (and still is) emotionally exhausted.

I now sit here wondering about the future and I am trying really hard not to second guess my decision to move to London. I know todays terrorist attacks could have happened in any major city in Europe or the United States – but it is still a shock to the system to know that all this madness in happening in my new home city.

(9:30AM)For anyone wondering, I am safe and sound. However, getting home tonight might be a bit of a challenge. The entire London underground network is shut down. So are much of the overhead rail lines. Hopefully, things will be back up and running but as the story of what happened is still unravelling, it might end up being a long trek home.

Update (10:53AM): It is getting more serious. Several buses have blown up. So I'm now thinking this was a terrorist attack. As such, there is no way I am getting on a train or a bus tonight. I am walking all the way to Wimbledon.

Update (11:00AM): Another bus has blown up. It may not make sense to walk home. So for now we stay in the building. However, its two buildings down from the London Stock Exchange so I'm trying my best not to freak out.

Update (11:29AM): Discussion going on about whether or not to leave the bulding. There is a rail station below.

Update (11:35AM): In the middle of all this madness, colleagues from a different division are thinking of taking the Eurostar to Brussels.

Update (11:41Am): Apparently there are more bombs in the subway. We are leaving the building.

Update (2:11PM): I'm home safe. A million things running through my mind. Will write more later. For now, I just want to go curl up under the covers.

The Olympic movement is coming to my new home city in 2012. Oh yeah!!!

To participate, go here.

Thought of the Day:

It is impossible to have a relationship of any kind when only one person is communicating.

That is all!

It's July 4th and I'm at work. I know, I know, somewhat blasphemous. I should have taken the day off, but as I hadn't made any alternative plans (I was suppose to be in Paris), I decided it was best to just come in to work. Sitting around at home, thinking about barbeques and fireworks would just be too depressing. Goodness! I guess I am starting to miss Chicago a bit. On a positive note, I will get to see some fireworks later this year when the English celebrate Guy Fawkes night.

All week I've been fighting back tears -- ever since I learnt that a certain person who shall remain unnamed, wouldn't be meeting me in Paris for the weekend. I had tried really hard not to get excited, but things had been built up so much that it was hard not to be disappointed when I heard about the change of plans. Now I could have still gone ahead and gone to Paris, but it just wouldn't be the same. At least not now. So I'm trying not to dwell on this setback. The trip wasn't my idea in the first place. More importantly, his decision not to come wasn't against me personally and I know he feels bad about it. So here's hoping that things improve and that the trip gets rescheduled. In the meantime, I've got to come up with a better coping strategy.

While I did not have a ticket for the Live 8 concert in Hyde Park, I went there today after a trek to Notting Hill Portobello Road to see if I would see any of the concert on one of the huge jumbo screens. By the time I got there, REM was on the stage, but the audio quality where I was at, was somewhat spotty so after about an hour, I came home. And let me say that I'm glad I did. Watching on TV I have a much better view of the bands playing -- plus through the interactive button, I was able to check out performances in some of the other cities. Everyone seems to be having incredible fun. I only hope that the performers as well as those in attendance will remember the real reason for these concerts -- that being to eradicate poverty in Africa. So here's hoping that when the G8 leaders meet in Scotland next week they will head the calling and do something to help. More importantly, here's hoping that the people in Africa rise up and do for themselves. Africa has gotten more aid donations that any other part of the world yet it lags behind in most areas. Now there are a multitude of reasons for this, but the time has come for the people there to cast aside these dictators who live like Kings yet do nothing for there people. So rise up I say. Rise up! As fun as these concerts are, hopefully there will come a time when they are not necessary.