May 2003 Archives

Well I think I just managed to offend my best guy friend's girlfriend. He was getting off phone to take shower and asked me if I wanted to talk to her, I responded: do I have to? She heard me. Ok, not the best response, but I'm tired -- I was on phone until 2am this morning. The only reason I'm up is because two other people called me this morning. So I decided to make the phone rounds as well. In any event, does being chatty with the best guy friend mean I have to be chatty with the girlfriend too? Don't get me wrong, I actually like her. She's good for him. But sometimes I'm not sure we have anything in common besides him. So it's awkward. Maybe I was just a little too rude. Hopefully she'll forgive me. Then again, it may not even matter. My friendship with best guy friend is on the rocks. We hardly talk to each other anymore. I suppose that's my fault since I sort of publicly took a break from the relationship. But I thought we made up when I went to casino with him a few weekends ago. Nope. It's still rocky. He's not calling. I'm not calling. So time will only tell whether or not the 10+ year friendship survives. At least he’s still reading my blog.

I left the Chicago Blues Festival tonight, just before heavy rain descended from the heavens. Even without the threat of rain, I wanted to leave soon after I got there. Yup, even with the cool sounds of bands like Willie Kent and the Gents. My mind just wasn't into being social. Of course I didn't tell my friends that. Sometimes I commit to things that I immediately sometimes back out of. I'm trying to monitor this, because I know if I abuse it too much, people will stop inviting me out. I don't know what comes over me sometimes. I want to be social but I'm just not with it. Thankfully we cut the evening short after going to dinner at The Blue Agave.

Is it college football season yet? I don't want to rush summer, but I can't wait for college football season to start. I'm so bored with summer sports. I'm thinking of football as Sports Illustrated has Ohio State ranked as school to go all the way and win national championship for 2003 season. They'll have to get past Michigan who is currently ranked 9th on the SI list. It's a bit early to be talking trash, so all I'll say for now is that the Michigan Wolverines won't make it easy for the Buckeyes to repeat. Gosh, I can’t wait for fall to get here. Of course by then, I'll have to get rid of this red in blog template and go to maize and blue. Hail to the Victors!!

On the phone last night with he from "his written words", I told him I wanted to live on a farm. I've been thinking about it for awhile but saying it out loud, gave me the courage to start doing research about farm life today. Sure it would be difficult, but Corporate America just sucks. Thinking farm life would be so much more rewarding. Maybe I'm just dreaming....

American Express, Fannie Mae & IBM are three of the best companies for women of color to work for according to Working Mother magazine. It's a bummer for me that none of them have headquarters here in Chicago. Granted these lists are sometimes predisposed, but I'm so ready to work for a company that gets it right; or at least gives the appearance of getting it right.

Someone should put a muzzle on Mike Tyson's mouth. He is a danger to himself in more ways than one.

Mike Tyson Says He's So Angry He Wants to Rape Thu May 29, 2003 02:43 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson insists he never sexually assaulted the woman he was jailed for raping in 1991, but talking about her makes him so angry he wants to rape her now. In a Fox News interview to be broadcast on Thursday, Tyson, 36, calls former beauty queen Desiree Washington "a lying, monstrous young lady" and says, "I just hate her guts."

"She put me in that state where now I really do want to rape her," Tyson said, according to excerpts provided by Fox News of Greta Van Susteren's interview for "The Pulse" program to be broadcast at 9 p.m. (0100 GMT on Friday).

Washington turned down requests to be interviewed and declined to respond to Tyson's comments, Fox News said.

Washington, who was 18-years-old and a Miss Black America contestant at the time of the assault, accused the boxer of raping her in an Indianapolis, Indiana, hotel room.

Tyson was convicted of rape in a 1992 trial and sentenced to six years in prison. He served three years before his release on parole, which he completed in June 1999.

Asked whether he raped Washington, the former world heavyweight champion said:

"No I didn't rape that slimy (expletive) ... anybody else having fun like that it's just young boys having fun but it's me, I'm a big black rapist ... that's the stigma I'm left with."

Tyson alleged Washington accused him of rape because she was "money hungry" and "really a bad person."

Choo-Choo and I are pleased that the Oxygen Network will be airing "Meow TV." Thinking you should too. And oh yeah, Meow TV is doing a tour this summer. They'll be in Chicago June 21-22. I've got to write this down in my palm pilot. I'm so there.

The Meow Mix Company to Launch Meow TV May 30th on the Oxygen Channel
May 2003 (Newstream) -- The Meow Mix Company, a company whose mission is "keeping cats happy," today announced plans to air Meow TV on May 30, 2003 at 7:30pm EST on the Oxygen Network. The show will premiere Friday, May 30th and will run several times throughout the month of June. Meow TV, the first programming targeted specifically at cats, was born out of research revealing that one-third of cats enjoy watching television and The Meow Mix Company's desire to bridge the communication gap between cats and the people who love them.

TV personality Annabelle Gurwitch and her cat Stinky will host the 1/2 hour special. Broadcasting from their living room, Annabelle and Stinky narrate their way through TV by cats, for cats and the humans they tolerate. Throughout the show viewers are kept purring with segments appealing to cats across the board such as "The Squirrel Alert," where squirrels run up and down trees to quick-paced music. The "Cat Critics" segment features large cats, lions and cheetahs, in the wild, with commentary in the vein of Mystery Science Theater.

The humor is not 100% geared towards the feline race -- Meow TV remembers the humans too. Mock infomercials from "The House Cat Shopping Network" and "Cat Haikus", narrated by Sandra Bernhard, litter the program. There are a number of viewer interactive segments included as well. Viewers can send in birthday shout outs to their cats as well as footage of their cats doing "something cool" -- the first episode features a cat that eats his meals with chopsticks as well as a cat that enjoys surfing in the ocean.

Btw, has anyone watched the Sunday Night Sex Show on the Oxgygen Network? I've watched it a few times and am amazed by the questions people ask (No I won't repeat them). Oh well! Maybe I'm just a prude.

I am back in Chicago. Yippee!! As much as I enjoyed my time in New York, it's good to be home. I got a little too much stimulation from being in Time Square aka Advertisers Row. Plus seeing all those cops and military personnel with machine guns everywhere I went around Manhattan was starting to wig me out. Heck, almost every where we went required passing through some sort of security screening. Plus many places were closed to tourist going inside (i.e. New York Stock Exchange, Statue of Liberty, etc.). Hopefully New York and other major cities that have to deal with this heightened state of security will find a balance between protecting its citizens as well as major landmarks and allowing access to visiting tourist. Many people (myself included) were disappointed that they had come this far, only to be turned away at the gates.

Having said that, know that I did appreciate and understand why they needed to be there. That reminder came yesterday as I ended up going down to "Ground Zero" since I wasn’t going to a Broadway show. I was trying to resist temptation, but I went anyway. While there, I was overcome with emotion. This really surprised me since I was turned off from so many of the victims families who I'd seen on TV shows like Oprah talking about they weren't being properly compensated for their family’s loss. Putting that aside, being there was weird. I wanted the construction workers to stop working and get away from the site. I know New York has to rebuild but the place felt like a burial grown. Hopefully the final architectural design will provide adequate space to remember those who lost their lives.

Ground Zero left me feeling depressed so I went back to hotel and hung out a bit. But since I had some time, I went walking around and ran straight into the Naked Cowboy. I’d heard about him, but to see him live in flesh was most thrilling. I took a few pictures and even touched his body while placing tip in his boots. Someone close by mentioned that he makes over $100K performing in Times Square and all I could think….only in New yOrk.

There is much more to share about trip to New York. But for now I’m just enjoying being back in Middle America. I know Chicago is as much a target as New York, but I feel safer here. Hopefully that won’t change.

I'm leaving New York without seeing a Broadway Show. This is really pissing me off. Who knew they didn't do matinee on Tuesday. Darn!! We should have tried harder to see one last night but my sister wanted to wait to get discount tickets and we got back from Ellis Island too late yesterday. Plus, most of the Broadway shows don’t perform on Monday nights. Next time I visit (which probably won’t be for another 10 years), I’ll have to just order tickets ahead of time.

Were you watching Good Morning America this morning? If so, you might have seen me on TV. In walking back from breakfast to my hotel (the Millennium Broadway) which is at that corner of 44th & Broadway, also home to GMA, I got in line and followed people into the studio. In that I watch them every morning, it was good to see and meet the supporting cast of characters (Diane Sawyer, Charlie Gibson). The only thing that would have made the excursion more perfect is if I hadn’t forgotten the extra film for camera and I was able to take pictures with them. Oh well! I don't celebrity worship, but it was good to be in their preference. So Good Morning America!!!!

Being a tourist is exhausting but also quite exhilarating at the same time. Despite the monsoon like weather here in New York, I spent the day visiting monuments like the Statute of Liberty and Ellis Island. At Ellis Island, my older sister and I did a search to see if any of our relatives landed there. We found a few Barzey's from Monsterrat, but not really sure about the family connection. In all the excitment, we called our great Aunt in Montserrat to ask about a few names we found. My family came to the Americas in waves -- some during the early 1900s but most came late 1950s though early 1980s. We did find our great grandfather's name (William Henry Barzey) on The American Immigrant Wall of Honor list, so that was pretty exciting. The whole experience renewed my interest in my family genealogy, so I plan to start working on it again when I get back to Chicago.

Below are some highlights of my trip to New York so far.

10. Being asked to take off shoes at airport, even though I was wearing open toe/open back sandals.

9. Waiting 3 hours at Grand Central Station for my older sister to arrive from Boston.

8. Sleeping in dorm room at Vassar College.

7. Not being able to access the Internet from dorm room. No Ethernet card. No access.

6. Showering next to naked men in coed bathroom.

5. Being almost blow down by passing Amtrak train while waiting for the commuter train from Poughkeepsie to Grand Central.

4. Being in back seat of car next to 8 year old who pees in a water bottle.

3. Falling off porch at graduation party (no, I wasn’t drunk).

2. Arguing with my younger sister not once but twice in less than 24hours.

1. And oh yeah, seeing my Aunt graduate with honors from Vassar College.

I am sleep deprived. Except for a quick 1 hour nap, I have not slept in close to 24hours. Yet, I can't go to bed. Trying to finish packing as shuttle is coming to pick me up in a little over an hour. Flight to New York is at 7am. Never again will I book a flight this early in the morning. I'm so tired. Of course, going out for happy hour yesterday after work didn't help my case. I should have been home packing yet I was out until about 11pm. Oh well! I suppose that is the price for having fun. Here's hoping I'll be able to sleep on airplane.

I know I should be sleeping right now, but I'm waiting for my laundry to dry, so watching rebroadcast of Oprah. I'm feeling a wee bit jealous of people in audience as she's giving away 1 million dollars worth of products. I want one of everything on her list of favorite things for Spring. Especially, the Weber Q Grill and Cart. Way cool! I'd also like an Apple iPod 15-GB MP3 player. Oh well! Back to reality. I want – I don’t need.

According to George Curry who got an exclusive interview Army Brig. Gen. Vincent Brooks last month in Qatar, the top question from most black women is whether or not the General is married to a sister (black woman). No surprise there. Things got a little heated here on my site when someone left a comment (which I subsequently deleted as it was a false rumor) indicating that his wife was white. I personally don't care, but I know a lot of other black women get upset when successful black men date and marry outside their race. Not wanting to let the false rumor just hang out there, two family members actually came forward and confirmed to me that Mrs. Brooks was indeed black. But I see the question still rages on. Obviously these folks have not been to my site.

[5:56pm]: Btw, here is why I wouldn't care if Gen. Brooks wife were white: His wife’s race has nothing to do with the superb job he was doing in Operation Iraq Freedom. I don't care if someone dates or marries outside their race, as in this crazy world, finding someone to love who will truly love you back in the way you want and deserve is tough enough. So if you happen to find it with someone outside your race, go for it. I myself would like to marry a black man, but if someone of another race steps forward and is treating me the way I want to be treated in a romantic relationship and it gets to the proposal stage, I’m not going to turn down the proposal because they are of a different race. Sure it will difficult...but I truly believe "love conquers all."

The Department of Homeland Security advisory is now on High: Level Orange. Trying not to freak even though I'm flying to New York City on Friday morning. Wondering what they heck Tom Ridge knows. I'm on a 7am flight that means by the way, that the shuttle to O'hare airport is scheduled to pick me up at 4:30am. Maybe I won’t even go to sleep tomorrow night. Then again, maybe I should get all the rest I can. Being in New York around other family members is bound to be wicked stressful. I'm already taking heat for not wanting to stay in my aunt's 2-bedroom apartment @ Vassar with 5+ other people. I mean, come on. There is only 1 bathroom.

The commercialization of weblogs continues.

ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies 2003 Conference & Expo (June 9th & 10th, Boston MA) is the first business-oriented forum to address the recent emergence of Weblogs into the business world and their rising importance as a medium of communication. This conference will bring together Webloggers who are pioneers, experts, and technologists. Together, they will present the latest developments, strategies, and success stories behind what is now becoming known as the Business Blog, or B-Blog for short.

Exactly 30 days from now, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix will be released. According to June issue of Business 2.0, based on preorders, Scholastic the US publisher for the Potter series has increased the first edition hardcover printing from 6.8 million to 8.5 million. This is more than twice the industry record of 3.8million which was for the last Potter book in 2000. Damn! By printing so many 1st for the 5th book in series, these books will be worthless on the collectible market years from now. Of course, that's not the real reason to buy J. K. Rowling's books. They are a delight to read.

James was hoping to be a Wolverine. I was hoping for Professor X! Either way, there is much truth in statement below:

You are Wolverine!

A loner by nature, you feel uncomfortable when
around those you don't know and even those you
do. You are awkward when it comes to
relationships, but fiercely loyal to those you
love.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Last night I went to another creative memories scrap booking workshop. While I'd spent a small fortune on the supplies about a month ago, I hadn't gotten around to seriously working on my album. As I was organizing my pictures, realized that I didn't have many hardcopy recent pictures. Basically, since I got my Olympus Camedia C-3000 Zoom Digital Camera about two years ago, most pictures are stored on my hard drive. I'd gotten burnt before with a now defunct picture hosting company, so I was a little leery about trying another. But thinking it's time. So looking for suggestions. I need to get some of my pictures printed so wondering what others are using. Is anyone using fotki? Shutterfly? Ofoto? Maybe another? Tell me about your experiences. I'm ready to take the digital photo-sharing plunge again.

On the way back from lunch, I stopped by the Secretary of State office to get a new drivers license card. It was a spur of the moment decision, as I really hadn't planned on getting a new card since my license is still valid. But my current card was looking pretty raggedy with all four corners having dog-ears. I've had it for 7+ years. When it expired the last time, I didn't go in to get a new picture; I just had them send me the sticker. In any event, I was really surprised that it only took about 20minutes to get the new card. The last time I was there, I spent close to 2 hours trying to switch my Massachusetts license to Illinois. As I look at the card now, can't help but smile at my own picture. For once, an official government picture came out looking pretty decent. But having a chuckle over the weight listed. It’s so not even right. Hey, the guy didn’t ask me if weight was still correct, he only asked about my address. Beyond the picture, was surprised to learn that they longer put your SSN on the card. Back in Massachusetts, your SSN was your driver’s license number. I suppose not listing the number is a good security measure. Of course, if people really want to find out what it is, it’s not that difficult.

According to The Soulmate Calculator, I'll need to meet 14,997 single males here in Chicago before I meet my Prince. No wonder I'm still single. I'm not even halfway there yet.

Link via Angst-Identprone

The Matrix Reloaded pulled in $93million this past weekend. I myself did not see it and probably won't for another couple weeks, but can't help but wonder --is that all? With all the hype you would have thought the movie would have surpassed previous box office records. It will be interesting to see what the finally tally will be considering all the negative buzz from some cult like fans of the original film.

LOS ANGELES, May 18 — “The Matrix Reloaded,” the highly anticipated sci-fi thriller starring Keanu Reeves as a balletic freedom fighter, shot to No. 1 in its first weekend at the box office. The sequel sold $93.3 million worth of tickets in its first weekend of release across North America — the No. 2 bow of all time behind “Spider-Man,” according to studio estimates. “Spider-Man” opened with $115 million in 2002.

Below is my horoscope for yesterday. It couldn't be more on....

Today's Date: May 18 It is never very agreeable to have to question oneself, dear Leo. But this is the main objective of the current celestial aspect. You will soon find yourself launched you into new adventures. So take advantage of the energy generated by this planetary configuration to look into yourself and find the source of some of your failures. This is not an easy exercise, to be sure, but it will do you some good. Just don't lie to yourself.

Friday night was the Chicago premiere of Blue Car the movie written and directed by one of my best friend's sister. I had seen the movie six months ago at the Chicago Film Festival, but I welcomed the opportunity to see it again, as I really enjoyed it the first time. The second time was no different. I also went as Karen (the director) was going to be there to answer questions about her first feature film. As always, she was gracious with her answers. Plus she was energetic, even though she was answering many of the questions for like the billionth time. Ok, that's an exaggeration, but I know I wouldn't have the patience to keep answering the same questions over and over again as required when promoting a movie.

After the movie, we headed to Biggs Steak House, Seafood & Wine Cellar for drinks and appetizers. It was extremely crowded and stuffy at first, but things relaxed as the evening went on. I had a great time munching on food, drinking wine and chatting with friends. We got so comfortable towards the end of the evening that we somehow started talking about Viagra. My friend Leigh surprised us by sharing his experience with the arousal enhancer. He mentioned that he used if for about 2 months shortly after he lost his job last year as it was a very trying time. I was stunned by his openness, but I greatly admire his honesty. After all, it's just a drug. Heck, if there was one for women, I'd take it. Even when there is no major drama, most women (me included) have a difficult time achieving orgasm during sex. For the record, Leigh gave me explicit permission last night to blog the Viagra story. So I?m not outing him or anything!

Well back to the movie. If you're looking for an alternative to this summer?s big budget sequels, Blue Car is it. So check it out. I think you?ll be pleasantly surprised. Below is a brief summary.

An 18-year-old aspiring poet (Agnes Bruckner), abandoned by her father and neglected by her overworked mother, looks to her English teacher (David Strathairn) for comfort and inspiration. What begins as a mentoring relationship becomes increasingly complex as the tension in her family escalates.

On Thursday night I attended a networking function with about 100 other people sponsored by the Michigan Business School Alumni Club of Chicago. It was an interactive session led by Michigan B-school Professor Wayne Baker who preaches the virtues of social capital. According to him: "human capital is important to any organization, especially in this age of knowledge management — but social capital can be even more important. With the right networks, the whole world is within your reach. The old saying "It's not just what you know, but who you know" isn't a cynical commentary. It's a well-established principle, supported by twenty years of scientific research."

To harvest the benefits of social capital, Professor Baker had attendees practice the Reciprocity Ring™. Basically each person is asked to write down something (one personal and one business related) they would like to get help with, then participants share with the rest of the group. Main goal is for those within the ring to listen intently and focus on contributing to others without regard as to whether or not help will come your way. I know this is nothing earth shattering, there are similar programs out there like Networlding, but it was amazing to see how in a group of 24 people, people were volunteering to leverage their connections to help not just with business matters, but with a whole host of personal matters.

After the event which was held at the W Hotel (on Adams Street) which I might say was hopping for happy hour, I worked the room. As much as I complain about feeling lonely, it was nice to see quite a few friendly faces; many of whom I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t gotten involved with the Alumni Club. I then left as I wanted to get home for a very important phone call. He from “his written words” had sent an email indicating he would be calling at a certain time. We once again chatted for 2+ hours about any and everything. I don’t know where this is going, but I sure like the ride so far. I had such a glow and was in such a great mood that I experienced one of my most peaceful nights of rest.

Btw, I’m curious as to what others are using to manage their personal contacts. I currently use my palm pilot to keep track of addresses and phone numbers, but it’s not enough. Even though I have them written down, I keep forgetting birthdays and anniversaries for family and friends. I know there are websites like Birthday Alarm that I could sign up for, but looking for a more integrated package. Looking for software that would allow me to make notes against each contact and get reminders about birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Also something I could have on home pc as well as palm. I know I could use something like ACT! but having used it for work, I’m not too excited about it. It requires way too much customization. I have no time for that. Thus, I welcome any suggestions. The more people I meet, realizing that it really makes sense to use something like this (with my failing memory) to help manage my personal relationships.

Saturday night finds me at home. I suppose it would be nice to be out wooping it up, but I'm kind of tired. It's been a hectic week. Work was intense as we had another round of training. Normally when a company invests so much in their people, you'd recognize this as a sign of a healthy company. But things are wicked stressful at the firm and my group is behaving like a dysfunctional family with people coming and going. This week alone, we lost two people from the sales team. One left for greener pastures...well at least that what she hopes. The other got fired. Who knows what will happen next. Beyond work, I also had some sort of activity almost every night of the week. I'm not really complaining, as it's a welcome outlet to the drama at work. The two biggest nights were Thursday and Friday night. The two post to follow will provide a recap.

What a glorious day. For the first time in a few weeks, it's didn't rain on Saturday morning. Normally I wouldn't care since I sleep in most Saturday mornings, but rain has prevented the softball team I organized from playing. So after two false starts, they finally played today. Unfortunately, team didn't win, but it was a great first effort. What I like most about the team, is that it offers Michigan grads, who for the most part don't know each other, a chance to get together. It feels good to know that friendships and relationships are forming as a result of my efforts. It's not easy sometimes to chase people down to get their commitment to play or even worse their portion of team fee.

After softball game, we headed to Duffy's our sponsoring bar for lunch. Going there, I sometimes feel like it's my own Cheers bar. I know a few of the managers and quite a few of the waitstaff. Today, since it was our first game, in addition to our team discount, the manager offered a free round of shots after lunch. However, as it was mid afternoon, there were no takers from the team. I ended up having a few shots with him after team left and to say I've got a buzz on, is an understatement. I’d already had two coronas with lunch.

For those of you who may think I'm a lush, I really don't drink that much. Sure, I've been drinking more lately, but that's because work is stressful, summer is coming and I'm hanging out more. Know that I know my limits. I’m always in control of myself. But what usually gets me in trouble is when I switch up what I’m drinking. Starting with wine, then switching to beer and ending with shots is simply not a good idea.

Well I'm going to run a few errands before the sun goes down. Maybe I’ll even get in a workout at the gym. I promise to update my activities for the last few days, later on.

Well I missed a day of blogging yesterday. The first time since I started this journey 6 months ago. As midnight came and went, I felt a little guilty, but knew this day would have to come eventually. Hopefully I didn't worry you too much. I'm still here. Just super busy. Much to say and write, but no time. More later.

Is anyone out there still using paper checks? I ran out two weeks ago and I can't bring myself to order more. I pay 95% of my bills electronically. But I'll probably have to break down and order as the company that sucks the most money out of me each month, doesn't accept online payments. Who is this company? Well they manage my apartment building along with about 10 others in the city. Why can't they get with the times? Oh well! I suppose there is something to be said for doing things the old fashioned way.

I have a fat lip. Really, the whole right side of my face is bloated and I can’t feel anything. This is what I get for going to the dentist. Well I really didn't have a choice. The filling from a tooth cracked and so it needed to be replaced. But instead of just removing the old filling and replacing with new, I needed to get a crown which was 3 times more costly. In any event, while getting my mouth ready to replace the temporary with the permanent crown, I needed to be injected three different times. I kept failing the cold water test. At one point, the dentist joked he would have to put me under local anesthesia. Normally, I would joke right back but I really didn’t think it was funny. Then during the procedure, which was supposed to be really simple, my tongue became uncontrollable and kept getting in the way. Thus requiring three people holding various tubes and dental appliances in my mouth. The whole episode was perhaps the worst I've had in a dentist chair. I got up feeling cold, shaky and totally disoriented. Here's hoping I don't have to go back anytime soon. If I hadn't been going to my current dentist for 6+years, I'd probably be looking for a new one.

Jennifer Weiner, a favorite author of mine, gave birth to a adorable little girl on Saturday May 10th. Go check out the cute baby pictures.

Gotta love the City of Chicago for continuing to try and attract tourist with street art. In 1999 it was cows. In 2001 is was furniture. This year its bobbleheads.

"This summer's public art project in Chicago features six-foot-tall statues of baseball players with -- you guessed it -- bobble-heads. The city of Chicago says the giant bobbleheads are in honor of Major League Baseball's All-Star Game, which will be played at U-S Cellular Field on July 15th. Starting mid-May, 35 bobbleheads will be scattered around downtown Chicago. They'll be decorated to represent each major league baseball team. After the All-Star Game, the statues will be auctioned off online for charity."

"The Cows on Parade exhibition in Chicago attracted an estimated two million tourists and brought approximately $500 million to Chicago's economy. The exhibit ran from June 14 through October 31, 1999. The end of the exhibit was capped off with an auction of the sculptures on November 9, and raised nearly $3.5 million for local charities."

Shopping for shoes at DSW for 2+ hours is quite maddening. How else to explain getting Chinese takeout on the way home after buying approx $100 worth of groceries last night. I'm sure you think I have no willpower or self discipline and maybe you're partly right. But it's not easy. At the top of my street alone are 5 Asian restaurants. They include: Bamee Noodle Shop, Mars Restaurant, New Peking Mandarin and Szechwan, New Toyko, and Nohana Japanese Restaurant. And to think I don't even live in Chinatown. Oh, and we won't even talk about all the other restaurants close by. I know. I know. Excuses! Excuses! But I really was too tired to come home and cook anything. Btw, in case you are wondering (and I know most of you aren't), I purchased a pair of Steve Madden sandals and a pair of Saucony running shoes.

I'm madly in love with John Cusack. So I think it's time to revive the Cusack for President campaign.

Public Note to Self: Do not buy anymore Lean Cuisine Salisbury Steak with Macaroni & Cheese. That "stuff" is just horrible. Yuck!! I want to wash my mouth out with soap. For the record, I do like some of the Lean Cuisine Cafe Classics Chicken lunches. But the Salisbury Steak was just awful. This is what I get for going grocery shopping at midnight. Or worse yet, buying stuff on sale.

Today is my twice-married younger sister's birthday. She turns 22. I was going rant and rave about our dysfunctional relationship, but I'll just say Happy Birthday and leave the other stuff for another day.

Weekends are never long enough to hang out with friends, sleep for hours and then do all those necessary chores. In my world, the chores are always the last thing to get done. Last night around 11pm I broke down and went to the grocery store after accepting the fact that food was not going to magically appear no matter how many times I went to the fridge. Food was such a scarcity in my house that prior to shopping, the only things to be found in fridge were various condiments and several bottles of champagne. The cupboards are also quite barren – except for a few ramen noodles that I refused to eat yesterday even thought I was wicked hungry and was holding ground against ordering takeout. There was no food as I hadn't been grocery shopping in over a month. Mostly I've been eating out or ordering takeout. Part of it is laziness but I just don't enjoy cooking. Well actually the cooking part isn't so bad, it's the cleaning up I detest. It really would be nice to have a dishwasher. In addition to grocery shopping, I did manage to do laundry yesterday. Yet another thing I had not done in a month. I'm one of those people that goes out and buys clean underwear and sox before doing laundry. Once again, I can't help but think that it would be nice to have a helper (code work for maid). I don't want to give the impression that I keep a messy apartment. I do try and keep a tidy living space as I hate coming home to a chaotic environment, plus you never know when someone might drop by, but I hate all the time and energy I have to devote to household activities. Dusting and cleaning is simply not my forte.

The New York Times exposes one of their own below. Having read the full article, still having a bit of difficulty understanding why the paper of record didn't catch Jayson Blair's deceptive practices earlier.

CORRECTING THE RECORD Times Reporter Who Resigned Leaves Long Trail of Deception May 11 2003

A staff reporter for The New York Times committed frequent acts of journalistic fraud while covering significant news events in recent months, an investigation by Times journalists has found. The widespread fabrication and plagiarism represent a profound betrayal of trust and a low point in the 152-year history of the newspaper.

The reporter, Jayson Blair, 27, misled readers and Times colleagues with dispatches that purported to be from Maryland, Texas and other states, when often he was far away, in New York. He fabricated comments. He concocted scenes. He lifted material from other newspapers and wire services. He selected details from photographs to create the impression he had been somewhere or seen someone, when he had not.

And he used these techniques to write falsely about emotionally charged moments in recent history, from the deadly sniper attacks in suburban Washington to the anguish of families grieving for loved ones killed in Iraq.

In an inquiry focused on correcting the record and explaining how such fraud could have been sustained within the ranks of The Times, the Times journalists have so far uncovered new problems in at least 36 of the 73 articles Mr. Blair wrote since he started getting national reporting assignments late last October. In the final months the audacity of the deceptions grew by the week, suggesting the work of a troubled young man veering toward professional self-destruction.

Mr. Blair, who has resigned from the paper, was a reporter at The Times for nearly four years, and he was prolific. Spot checks of the more than 600 articles he wrote before October have found other apparent fabrications, and that inquiry continues. The Times is asking readers to report any additional falsehoods in Mr. Blair's work; the e-mail address is retrace@nytimes.com.

I just wrapped up a phone call which lasted an hour and all I have to say is that sometimes conversations are better than sex. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy all over. Sorry to be a tease, but that's all I'm going to say. But don't get any wild ideas, there was no heavy breathing. Just conversation. I don't smoke but I'm ready for cigarette.

My friend Leigh over at HanlonVision left the 600th comment at my little blog here. Thanks Leigh!! I’m please that it was him since reading his blog was part of what inspired me to get off my butt and do something with the domain I had purchased years earlier. It has been a hell of a ride these last 6 months. So thanks to everyone who has left a comment. All have been read and are much appreciated! So keep them coming.

I wonder what Vice President Cheney has to say about story below. As the article points out, the bribe payments were made in 2001 and 2002. Vice President Cheney led the company as chief executive from 1995 until August 2000. Even still, this doesn't look good. It just makes me more suspicious about the recent no bid contract awarded to Halliburton to manage all the operations of the Iraqi oil fields.

Halliburton admits it paid Nigerian bribe Fri May 9, 1:51 PM ET (AFP) - Oil services giant Halliburton, already under fire over accusations that its White house ties helped win a major Iraqi oil contract, has admitted that a subsidiary paid a multi-million dollar bribe to a Nigerian tax official. Halliburton, once run by Vice President Richard Cheney, revealed the illicit payments, worth 2.4 million dollars, in a filing Thursday with the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). "The payments were made to obtain favorable tax treatment and clearly violated our code of business conduct and our internal control procedures," Halliburton said.

My friend and I stopped in for food and drinks at Flounder's before heading to the movies to see Identity starring John Cusack, Ray Liotta & Amanda Peet. Below is summary of the plot but let me say that all is not as they appear. With all the twist and turns in the story, I'd actually pay to go see this movie again and so would recommend it to others. Thinking most will be pleasantly surprised. It's not your typical slasher horror movie.

Caught in a savage rainstorm, ten travelers are forced to seek refuge at a strange desert motel. They soon realize they've found anything but shelter. There is a killer among them and, one by one, they are murdered. As the storm rages on and the dead begin to outnumber the living, one thing becomes clear: Each of them was drawn to the motel, not by accident or circumstance, but by forces beyond imagination, forces that promise anyone who survives a mind-bending and terrifying destiny...

In addition to the comments left below, I received several emails of support related to my job situation. It's good to know that there are people out there who care about my happiness. I don't want to give the impression that I don't have any support in the real world. My family is a little weird at times, but for the most part, they've been supportive. Also, I have a solid network of friends who I talk to and hang out with all the time. Plus of course, there are my coworkers. Even still, I sometimes feel alone with this issue. I don't really understand it. I just do. So bear with me as I work to figure things out and thanks for being there.

Ok, lets all have a group hug. BIG GRIN!!

Is this woman for real?

On March 2, 2003 at 4:12 pm, I disappeared. My name is isabella v., but it's not. I'm twentysomething and I am an international fugitive.

Link via Anything But Ordinary.

Need a new car? Can't afford to buy one? Well consider entering Children's Memorial Foundation 7th Annual Car Raffle. Tickets to enter raffle are $100 and since only 4,000 tickets will be sold, the odds of winning one of 4 cars is pretty good. Cars being raffled pictured clockwise from top left include:

2003 Land Rover Discovery,
2003 BMW Z4,
2003 Mini Coopers (2), &
2003 Mercedes SLK.

If you're a lucky winner and don't need a car, you'll receive $40,000 in cash. To order a ticket, click here. Winning tickets will be drawn 12 noon on July 18, 2003 @ Chicago Mercantile Exchange, 30 South Wacker, Main Lobby. You don't need to be present to win. 100% of all proceeds raised will benefit Children's Memorial Hospital. So order now. If nothing else, you are making a charitable donation to a worthy organization.

Well it was just a matter of time. Anyone who was following the NCAA's investigation of Michigan's basketball program knew that sanctions would be handed down. The allegations made about players accepting $600K in illegal loans was simply too serious. The only question that remained related to the severity of the punishment. Most Michigan fans were hoping that the NCAA would be lenient in their punishiment as Michigan already imposed sanctions on the basketball program in November 2002. That was not to be. The sanctions handed down today by the NCAA just seem harsh and over the top. Don't get me wrong, I agree that Michigan needs to accept responsibility and be reprimanded for what happened under Steve Fisher's years with the Fab Five, but this is ridiculous. Reducing the number of scholarships available doesn’t make sense. In addition, saying that Michigan in not eligible for postseason play during 2003-2004 season is unfair as is further penalized the current players and even the coaches; none of whom were even at Michigan during the early 90s when the players accepted the illegal loans from a now “deceased representative of the university's athletics interests.” Michigan already forfeit postseaon play in 2002-2003. Michigan will appeal this portion of the sanction, but I'm not optimistic that they'll win. The NCAA is trying to set an example and unfortunately previous Michigan players (all now in the NBA) have provided them with an excellent reason for doing so.

Michigan's Self Imposed Punishment announced in November 2002 includes: (1) Forfeiting all games won while four players were ineligible; (2) Repaying to the NCAA about $450,000 U-M received for postseason play with those ineligible players; (3) Declaring the men's basketball team ineligible to participate in the 2003 NCAA and NIT tournaments; (4) Placing the men's basketball program on probation for two years.

The NCAA penalties announced today include:
(1) Public censure and reprimand;
(2) U-M placed on probation for four years (Nov. 7, 2002 to Nov. 6, 2006);
(3) No postseason competition for men's basketball program in 2003-04;
(4) A reduction of one men's basketball scholarship (from 13 to 12) for the next four seasons (2004-05 to 2007-08);
(5) Dissociation for 10 years from the four athletes identified.

As I sat through another round of training for most of today, I couldn't help but sing parts of Destiny's Child smash hit "Survivor" in my head. The song is about love gone wrong, but I can't help but think it's quite applicable to my current work situation.

I'm A Survivor! (What!) I'm Not Gonna Give Up! (What!) I'm Not Gonna Stop! (What!) I'm Gonna Work Harder! (What!) I'm A Survivor! (What!) I'm Gonna Make It! (What!) I Will Survive! (What!) And Keep On Surviving! (What!) I'm A Survivor! (What!) (Hey!) I'm Not Gonna Give Up! (What!) I'm Not Gonna Stop! (What!) I'm Gonna Work Harder! (What!) I'm A Survivor! (What!) I'm Gonna Make It! (What!) I Will Survive! (What!) Keep On Surviving! (What!) I'm A Survivor! (What!) I'm Not Gonna Give Up! (What!) I'm Not Gonna Stop! (What!) I'm Gonna Work Harder! (What!) I'm A Survivor! (What!) I'm Gonna Make It! (What!) I Will Survive! (What!) Keep On Surviving! (What!)

Even though I hinted at it last night, I probably won't change my domain name. But I must confess that lately I've been somewhat guarded about what I write, because like others out there, I'm concerned about what will show up when someone Googles my name. Having said that, I'm still going to try and be true to myself. If I begin to self-censor too much, I'll shut this site down. Hopefully we won't have to get to that point.

I found one thing that made me laugh tonight. Gotta love those crazy cats.

Link via HanlonVision.

I'm rereading my blog. Gosh, I sound fucking depressing. Heck, I wouldn't even want to be my own friend. Shit! What was I thinking using my real name here? I want to be anonymous about my thoughts. I'm feeling exposed and vulnerable.

I'm over here trying not to beat myself up too much. But I'm having such self doubt about almost everything in my life that it's really hard not to be negative. The work situation is probably the biggest issue. I know I need to do something, but I'm not convinced yet that looking for job is the right thing. I've only been here 9 months. Perhaps I'm just a little afraid of the job I might actually land. In fact, that last time I found myself in a similar situation, I took the first job offered and here I am today. So I can't help but feel like I'm one of those Michigan graduates who has wasted my degree and squandering my talents. Sure I make a decent living, but I'm not professionally satisfied. Part of me just doesn't know what that means. I've never fully recovered from my decision not to go back to law school. I have no regrets, but I need to figure something out. So I'm over here reading: No More Blue Monday's by Robin Sheerer. I really need to think more strategically before I make another move.

So I've been talking to family and friends about my current work situation. What I'm starting to realize is that I don't know anyone who really likes their current job. For most people, it’s just a way to support their after work life. I suppose that is fine on many levels. But considering that the typical worker spends anywhere from 40-60 hours a week at work, wouldn’t it be nice to say that you enjoy what you do for a living? So I'm wondering, does anyone out there in blogland have a different story to tell? If you’re employed, do you have a job that brings you professional satisfaction? If so, tell me about it. I’m starting to feel jaded and with 20+ years of work ahead of me, I need to pull myself back from the brink of negativity about the work world.

I woke up this morning with a raging headache and despite the fact that I've taken several doses of Advil, I haven’t got rid of it. I didn't even drink any alcohol at dinner last night so not really sure what this is about. I woke up dreaming about my job, so maybe that had something to do with it. Either way, I wish this headache/migrane would just go away. Talking hurts. Laughing hurts. Everything hurts.

Ok, this is some kind of joke. As of today 5/3/03 @ 2:16pm, my blog stock is ranked 12th on list of top 100 at blogshares. Share price is $41.12. Someone is clearly manipulating the system. During the beta period, my share price was never over a $1.00. Maybe someone just knows something I don't. This almost makes up for me showing up at softball game this morning, only to find out that game has been cancelled due to poor field conditions.

[Update 3:06pm]: Dropped to 14th place. Decided to sell the 1000 shares I was holding in my own blog. Share price is now at $56.68, that won't last long!

[Update 3:53pm]: Thinking I should have held on to at least 100 shares. Oh well!

1: Movable Type (0 / 5740 shares available @ $887.55 ea. - 3.74 p/e)

2: Radio Userland
(0 / 25000 shares available @ $ 32.78 ea. - 3.16 p/e)

3: BlogShares - Fantasy Blog Share Market
(0 / 40000 shares available @ $ 19.23 ea. - 3.76 p/e)

4: SlashDot.Org
(0 / 125000 shares available @ $ 1.44 ea. - 1.24 p/e)

5: Jason DeFillippo's Weblog
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 69.18 ea. - 2.93 p/e)

6: Back to Iraq 2.0
(0 / 24000 shares available @ $ 15.65 ea. - 3.34 p/e)

7: Blogrolling News
(500 / 8000 shares available @ $ 47.04 ea. - 3.46 p/e)

8: Jeremy Zawodny's blog
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 19.27 ea. - 1.00 p/e)

9: The People's Republic of Seabrook
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 59.57 ea. - 3.27 p/e)

10: Baseball Musings
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 36.28 ea. - 1.99 p/e)

11: Tom
(100 / 5000 shares available @ $ 63.16 ea. - 3.65 p/e)

12: Ursula's Not So Secret History
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 41.12 ea. - 2.38 p/e)

13: tima thinking outloud.
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 56.44 ea. - 3.27 p/e)

14: The Lost Olive
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 36.08 ea. - 2.09 p/e)

15: taaza
(0 / 5000 shares available @ $ 34.13 ea. - 1.98 p/e)

Based on results from Dante's Interno Test, I've been sent to Purgatory. I suppose I could live with that.

"You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven."

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Most people drink champagne/sparkling wine to celebrate, I'm drinking it (Cristalino Brut Cava, NV) tonight because work was just awful today and it's helping me have pleasant thoughts again. I'd like to write more, but I really don't think I should at this point. I have nothing positive to say; about work that is. This wine is simply amazing!! A great deal for the price.

Via Serenity, I found this cool quiz. Not really surprised by the results.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

I am sitting here feeling nostalgic about my former company who is currently celebrating their 30 year anniversary. No, I don't want to go back and work for them, but I'm extremely thankful for all the knowledge I gained while working there for 7 years. Even at the low points, I had more fun than at my current company. I don't want to give the impression that I totally hate my job. Most days, I actually like what I do. I suppose my dissatisfaction is mostly related to the fact that I work in a team-selling environment and everyone doesn't always play nice. Normally, I wouldn't care but since we're not meeting revenue quota and this affects my monthly commission, my motivation level is like a roller coaster...up and down...up and down. It's tough because my area continues to meet/exceed quota on a weekly/monthly basis, but overall we haven't been able to win enough business. So it's hurting in the pocketbook and morale is low and I’m finding it difficult to get out of bed some mornings. It's at the point where I need to go buy myself an alarm clock. In all my years of working, I've never used one and I never had a problem getting to work on time. I know great jobs are hard to come by and I’m thankfully to have a job when so many people are unemployed, but if things don’t change for the better, I’ll have to explore other options. Next Monday, my team gets taken over by one of the regional EVPs. Hopefully, things will change for the better. I so want to make this work.

My best guy friend called me last night. We didn't really resolve again, just picked up where we left off. We even discussed the possibility of me meeting up with him and his girlfriend next weekend. This is so typical of us. We have a fight (well really me seeking validation) and stop talking for a few weeks. Then one of us calls (usually him -- I'm too stubborn) and things go back to normal. Dysfunctional? Yeah, but that keeps things interesting.

It was great that he called because I got to tell him about the phone call earlier in evening from His Written Words. That's right folks, the person who I have a crush on, called me. OH YEAH! We had communicated via email but the phone call came totally out of the blue. It was such a pleasant surprise! Now I can't stop smiling and yes that's all I'm going to say for now.

I can never get enough of General Brooks. Yeah, I love the fact that he's tall (6" 4") and good looking, but my attraction to him goes beyond the physical. Let's just say that he is like the brother I always wanted, the father I never had. He has a great career and also appears to be an awesome family man. With that said, below is another article about the General written by George Curry, Editor-In-Chief for The National Newspaper Publishers Association. Curry is the first reporter to be given a one-on-one interview with the General.