December 2002 Archives

I came across this really great story in the Washington Post. It reminds me of how disappointed I was when I didn't get into a certain University back East that shall remain nameless (no it wasn't Harvard, I didn't even apply to any Boston schools). I ended going to the University of Michigan and had the best time ever. There, I got a first rate education and met some really bright/smart/educated/cultured/sophisticated people. Those four years at Michigan played a critical role in shaping who I am today.

One group of people that particularly stand out are the graduate students and professors I met while working at The Program for Research on Black Americans. So THANK YOU Dr. Robert Taylor for picking me up at the airport freshman year and offering me a job that last all four years. I couldn't have asked for a better work study experience.

And to think, I decided to go to Michigan without even visiting the campus.

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!!!

I hope big brother isn't watching (they probably are), but I haven't really done much for the past two days. Yesterday a colleague went to the movies to see: Catch Me if You Can. I would have gone with her except I had that darn doctor's appointment. Hardly anyone is here. So I've been crusing the Internet. Talk about undiscovered country. There is a lot out there I haven't seen!!

So all is not well in Barzeyland. Last night, my younger sister unloaded on me. Every name in the book I was called. She even accused me of being more affectionate with my cat Choo-Choo than her daughter. Now who would be jealous of a cat? And what did I do to deserve this verbal assault in my own f**cking home? Well I asked her if she planned to take some of her things home. After all, she does live here in Chicago. Thus, I saw no real reason to have her and her daughter's gifts still spewed across my living room floor.

Everything checks out. I went and saw my doctor who is affiliated with Northwestern Memorial Hospital. After spending yet another weekend with sniffles, I knew I would need to be seen again by doctor to have some peace of mind. Particularly since my cough was so deep and starting to hurt my ribs. She listened to my lungs and nothing sounded unusual. Just to be certain, I insisted on getting a chess X-Ray done. Everything came back clean. Same for the blood sample that was drawn during my annual physical two weeks ago and tested by Laboratory Corporation of America. Everything was within normal range except for my LDL Cholesterol which was a little high. So I don't have pneumonia or some ungodly disease. Just another cold. That's a blessing. But it’s so strange to be sick all the time.

That’s what made me think I was allergic to work. You see, I began getting sick around September 2002. That’s when I started a new job at a consulting firm that shall remain nameless. So maybe it has something to do with the building. But I’m not really sure as it’s a pretty modern one – and I’m the only one who seems to be chronically ill. So early in 2003, I'm going to have some allergy test run. Hopefully I'm not getting allergic to work or to my cat. Maybe it really is just a bad spell. Whatever it is, I can't wait to put this period behind me. I just don't like feeling this way.

Just ran a Google search on my first and last name separately. I'm on page 5 for Barzey. For Ursula, I don't even rank on the first 20 pages. That totally sucks. Of course, if you Google my full name in one search, I'm at the top of the list. So goal for 2003 is to be at the top or near top of list for Google searches for Ursula.

In case your wondering, Ursula K. Le Guin one of my favorite science fiction authors is at the top. She will be extremely difficult to dethrone. But it’s not impossible.

It’s that time of year when everyone and their mama comes out with a Top 10 List. Here is a compilation from South Nox Budda.

I spent most of Sunday in bed. I only left the apartment for half an hour to get some much-needed cough medicine. I spent most of day watching the History Channel. So the day was not completely wasted.

Well I've come down with another cold again. This just sucks when you have to play host for 10 days. I just want to lay in bed and sleep.

After another round of shopping on Chicago's Magnificent Mile, we headed off to the movies last night to see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. If you haven't already seen, go see it. The movie deserves all the kudos it has gotten.

Last night, I saw a really refreshing feel-good movie called DRUMLINE. This movie could be considered a tribute to all the band geeks out there as it highlights all the hard work that goes into becoming a championship marching band. The story unfolds around a kid (Devon) from Harlem who is recruited to play in the band at a mostly black Atlanta University. The movie shows his transformation from a troublesome kid who plays music (but can't read it), to a wonderful young man who embraced the band leader motto: One Band, One Sound! It truly is an entertaining movie from beginning to end. So I highly recommend.

Below is a listing of the main characters that make the movie worth seeing:

Devon: Nick Cannon
Laila:Zoe Saldana
Dr. Aaron Lee: Orlando Jones
Sean: Leonard Roberts
Jayson: GQ
Ernest: Jason Weaver
Charles: Earl Poitier
Diedre: Candace Carey

Running time: 118 minutes. Rated PG-13.

Movie is directed by Charles Stone III who is best-known as the director of those riotously funny Budweiser "Whassup" commercials.

With one holiday complete, it's time to begin celebrating another. Today is the first day for Kwanzaa. According to the Official Kwanzaa Website, Kwanzaa:

is an African American and Pan-African holiday which celebrates family, community and culture. Celebrated from 26 December thru 1 January, its origins are in the first harvest celebrations of Africa from which it takes its name. The name Kwanzaa is derived from the phrase "matunda ya kwanza" which means "first fruits" in Swahili, a Pan-African language which is the most widely spoken African language.

I like this holiday as one of the gifts most commonly given to celebrate Kwanzaa is books. According to the Official Kwanzaa Website "the book is to emphasize the African value and tradition of learning stressed since ancient Egypt...."
So to all my friends out there, help me celebrate by buying me a book off my Amazon.com wish list. Just kidding!!! :)

It looks like only one ticket had the matching numbers for the $315 million Powerball lottery. Here's wishing the winner the best of luck in managing the money. I think it's kind of sad that most lottery winners are broke 10 years after hitting the jackpot.

Personally, I'm against the lottery system. While it does do some good by providing funds for school, I think it preys on poor people and provides false hope.

Christmas morning finds me in a bad mood. A pipe broke in a empty apartment upstairs and water has leaked into my bathroom and bedroom. I suspect the pipe broke yesterday as I heard water and confirmed it wasn't coming from my apartment. So I call the management company to alert them to the situation but they never showed up. Maybe because it was Christmas Eve. So what was a small problem has turned into a much bigger situation. I just want to scream. Heck opening presents didn’t even make me feel any better.

So I'm playing lots of Christmas music and rewatching A Christmas Story on TV. More importantly, I am trying not to snap at my family but enjoy their company. I did get some pretty cool gifts.

OHHHH FFFUUDDGGGEEE!!

The 8pm Christmas Eve service at Fourth Presbyterian Church was more crowded that all the stores I visited today. We arrived around 7:35pm and were able to sit in the main sanctuary which is beautifully decorated for the holiday season. If we had arrived 10 minutes later we would have been watching from an ajoining room on close circuit television.

My favorite part of the service was when we sung Silent Night! Holy Night! by candlelight. Below are the words to this beautiful song composed by Joseph Mohr. To learn more about its history, check out the Silent Night Museum.

Silent Night! Holy Night!

Rudolph the red nose reindeer may have been a girl. Check out story at National Geographic News.

Looking for different ways to say Merry Christmas? Check out this internet site which has Merry Christmas in 350 languages. Here's a small sample:

Armenian - Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Soorp Janunt
Blackfoot - I'Taamomohkatoyiiksistsikomi
Cantonese - Seng Dan Fai Lok, Sang Nian Fai Lok
Danish - Glædelig Jul og godt nytår

President George W. Bush is full of holiday cheer. He offered Christmas gifts in the form of pardons to 7 Americans convicted of mostly minor federal offenses. I wonder who else was on the list but didn't make the cut.

Barzey is the 41,383rd most popular last name (surname) in the United States; frequency is 0.000%; percentile is 84.385.

Source: This information is based upon the 1990 United States Census.

Well, it's a full house. I can already see scenes rivaling those in movie titled:Home for the Holidays.

Btw, after 2 hours of shopping, I gave up. I still have two more presents to go. I have no idea what to get.

My nephew arrived yesterday earlier than expected so I didn't get some of my chores completed. Now 18, it seems like only yesterday he was just a baby.

My sister on the other hand, has not yet arrived. Somehow I managed to get the dates mixed up. She arrives today. Luckily I figured this out before heading to the airport. Shortly, I'm heading off for some shopping. With only three days to go before Christmas, I haven't really bought anything yet. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some good deals. Wish me luck!!

Continuing on with my nepotism theme, here is a great website for keeping up with nepotism in American politics.

Along the same lines, below is the abstract for Op-Ed Column written by Paul Krugman for New York Times which profiles the rise in nepotism.

November 22, 2002, Friday
The Sons Also Rise

By PAUL KRUGMAN (NYT) 773 words
Late Edition - Final , Section A , Page 27 , Column 1
ABSTRACT - Paul Krugman Op-Ed column finds that inherited status is making comeback in nation that has always valued upward mobility; points to Pres Bush and his brother Jeb, Elizabeth Cheney, with specially created State Department job, Eugene Scalia, top lawyer at Labor Department, and Janet Rehnquist, inspector general at Health and Human Services; adds that inheritability of status will be mightily reinforced by repeal of estate tax, example of odd way in which public policy benefits the wealthy even as society becomes more class-ridden (S)

To read the full article, go here: The Unofficial Paul Krugman Archives. Click on columns link.

Alaska Governor-elect Frank Murkowski appointed his daughter Lisa Murkowski a state legislator to serve the remaining two years of his term in the U.S. Senate. To learn how the new Senator spent her first day, check out recent news article in Anchorage Daily News. The governor was given the power to name his successor earlier this year by the GOP-controlled legislature.

Was she the most qualified? Probably not.

I often smile when I hear people say they are against affirmative action. I often wonder: what exactly it is they are against? Over the years, affirmative action has meant different things to different people. Next year, the Supreme Court will make what I’m sure will be a landmark ruling on this issue as they have agreed to hear two cases involving rejected applicants to my alma mater, the University of Michigan.

I’ll go on the record and say that I’m in favor of affirmative action. As I define it, affirmative action is a way for this country to try and make things a little bit more equal. Let’s not forget, unlike most immigrants who came here voluntarily, black people came to the Americas in chains and were enslaved for 400+ years. And only recently (lets say the last 40 years), have blacks been given "serious" access to educational/political/corporate opportunities. So, affirmative action is a way for black folks and other minorities (heck even white women) to make significant gains in what traditionally has been an all white boys club. Whether that is in academia, corporate America or government, without some of the affirmative action programs of the 70s/80s/90s, there is no question that many qualified minorities wouldn’t be welcomed into the club.

Affirmative action is not about handing unqualified minorities opportunities. It is NOT about filling quotas. Most minorities will tell you (here let me speak for myself), that they do not want to accept an opportunity if they don't meet a certain level of qualification. After all, we want to be a credit to our race. Thus, only consider us if we’re qualified. If Michigan only admitted me because I was black, that would enrage me. But I think they did because all around, I was a good candidate. I’m sure that I was not the top candidate, but I know for a fact that I was not the bottom either. So I don’t want to hear any nonsense about black folks (and other minorities) taking the spots of white students. All we are asking is that we be given equal consideration if we actually have the aptitude to do the work. That can be determined by looking at a number of factors (i.e. grades, test scores, teacher recommendations, essays, volunteer/community activities, musical talents, athletic ability, etc.). And yes, race could be thrown into the mix of criteria’s. But it should never be the only criteria or the deciding criteria.

With that said, I think that what is even worse than affirmative action is nepotism of family and friends. Anyone who is out there looking for a job right now knows that they have to network. Primarily because by the time most jobs are posted, there is already a candidate who has a fast track into the job. Usually, it’s a family member , former colleague, or a friend of a friend. And there, most often qualifications are secondary. People are more comfortable hiring a family member, former colleague or friend of a friend, than hiring a total stranger, who may be way more qualified. And since most minorities, don’t have the kind of network that descendants of the Mayflower have, they (we) are less likely to win these opportunities. Affirmative Action, if implemented correctly can fight some of this.

Ask any admissions counselor at a major university what they’re worried about, and it won’t be about having to admit minority students who don’t meet the grade. It’s more likely to be about having to seriously consider admitting all the children of people who’ve graduated or given significant donations to the university. Yup, it’s all about the legacy kids. That's where the real battle lies. So lay off affirmative action. It’s not the perfect solution. But there is value to having it out there.

Being in sales for a national consulting company, I make my share of cold calls every day to corporate executives in accounting/finance/IT departments. Thus, when telemarketing companies call me at home, I tend to listen to the pitch even though I usually say no to whatever they're selling. But lately, I've been getting calls from companies that want to do opinion surveys. They usually start off by telling me the name of the firm and then indicating that they're not selling anything but want to take down the opinions of the household. But they only want to speak the male of the household. Since I'm a single gal with no husband or any real prospects in sight, they usually don't want to talk to me once I explain. But the next time I get such a call, thinking I'll put my cat Choo-Choo on the phone. I'll let him meow into the phone. He is after all, the male of my household.

It's about 16 hours before my sister and nephew arrive. I'm almost done making the place look presentable. But, I am suddenly feeling panicky. They will be here until January 2nd. While I am glad they w'll be staying with me, I am nervous about the whole thing. My younger sister and her daughter who lives here in Chicago will also be spending Christmas with us. This is the first time since Mom died 8 years ago that we will all be spending Christmas together. This should make for interesting times.

Why is it that I sit here reading an over the top weblog, when I should be off doing chores? It is now exactly 24 hours before my sister and nephew arrive and I still have so much to get done. Perhaps it's because I'm so amazed about what other people share about their lives. Reading this weblog along with others sometimes has me in complete shock. Sometimes I'm completely disgusted. But I keep coming back as it offers me insight into a world I know nothing about. I feel like a voyeur.

Last week, Slate.com called Senator Lott a "Dead Man Walking." They were right. The embattled Senator, finally put the Republic party and country before himself and his huge ego and resigned from the Senate leadership position.

It looks like Bill Frist, the junior Senator from Tennesse is the front runner.

FRIST FACTS:
Hometown: Nashville
Born: February 22, 1952; Nashville, Tenn.
Religion: Presbyterian
Family: Wife, Karyn Frist; three children
Education: Princeton U., B.A. 1974; Harvard U., M.D. 1978
Military Service: None
Career: Surgeon
Elected: 1994 (2nd term)
107th Congress Committees: Budget, Foreign Relations (African Affairs - ranking member; International Operations; Near Eastern & South Asian Affairs), Health, Education, Labor & Pensions (Children & Families; Public Health - ranking member).

Background: A heart and lung transplant surgeon, Frist won his first political race in the 1994 Republican wave, defeating Sen. James Sasser, a Democrat who chaired the powerful Senate Budget Committee. Frist co-founded with his brother what has become one of the nation's largest hospital chains -- Columbia/HCA.

The Tennessee senator is currently chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, the fundraising arm for GOP senators. He gained significant public attention in 1997 when he came to the aide of two Capitol Hill police officers who were shot at close range by a man trying to bring a gun into the Capitol building.

SOURCE: Congressional Quarterly

Here's hoping that Frist proves himself to be a much smarter leader than Lott.

Women.com recently published an article advising women how to fake an orgasm. Do they really think we women need any help doing that? Sadly, most women are experts at faking it! What we women need, is more guidance on how to:
1) have them period (most women don't experience orgasms during intercourse);
2) have them more often; and
3) have multiple ones.

Nuff Said!

President George W. Bush sure has a way with words. Thus, couldn't help but share this latest Bushism:

"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.

For more Bushisms, go to: Slate. These are just classic!

Btw, if you want to get your hands on a talking Dubya, check out TalkingPresidents.com. It may be too late to get one from Christmas, but any serious collector of Presidential memorabilia should have one in their collection.

I'm sure this is no surprise to many, but it looks like America is going to war sometime next year. According to Secretary Colin Powell, Iraq is in "material breach" of a U.N. disarmament resolution. And "the world will not wait forever." God help us!! Since Bush II wants to finish what Bush I didn't, I have this awful feeling that things are going to be a lot worse than Desert Storm. Saddam is not going to go quietly. Even if he is captured and or killed, this won't be a 100 day war. As with Afghanistan, American/British/UN troops are going to be in Baghdad for a long time. This pains me greatly as my nephew recently joined the military. Thankfully, he had to good enough sense to join the United Staes Airforce and not the Marines.

And wondering, after we're done with Iraq, is Iran & North Korea next?

It has been a week since I set up this site and starting writing this blog. According to the statistics provided by my hosting company, I've had 403 unique visitors. WOW!!! Of course, they then go on to tell me: "Be aware that measuring unique visitors is very inaccurate. Check the "Hits by unique IPs" statistical report for more information." So I check the hits by unique IPs, and guess what, while the number is indeed lower, I still think it's impressive. Total is 167 unique IPs. For only a week, I'm pleased. Of course, this now makes me start to wonder, who is reading this blog? Besides my three friends who've posted comments so far, who else is out there? Wait, is it even polite to ask? Hmmmm.......

Today I had my annual physical. Despite the fact that I’m fighting my third cold/flu this season, according to my doctor, everything checks out. I’m just a little run down from all the drama that went on this year. But one issue that needs working on is weight. No surprise there. This is something I have battled since college. It's so frustrating. Every time I think I have the problem conquered, something happens to throw me off. I suppose I need to start thinking of my weight in terms of my health and not just in terms of my physical appearance. So no more diets or quick fix schemes. In the New Year I plan to spend sometime working with a nutritionist. Also, I plan to get back in the gym. I’ve been away for over a year.

So Senator Lott went on Black Entertainment Television (BET) last night to beg forgiveness. Give me a break! Why couldn’t he have gotten his apology right the first time? Better yet, why didn’t he keep his racist thoughts to himself? And does he really think that we believe he was referring to “Thurmond's strong anti-communist, pro-defense and fiscally conservative positions” when he talked about the problems that could have been avoided if the country had voted like Mississippi did in 1948 presidential election? And to top it off, he now “absolutely” supports affirmative action. Whatever! He needs to resign from the leadership position. There is nothing worse in politics than a pandering politician.

Speaking of pandering politicians, I admire and respect Senator/Vice President Gore's decision not to run in 2004. While I think he would be a great President, he did the right thing. I just don't think this country is ready for a rematch. But, I‘m hoping he pulls a Nixon; we (I) want you back in 2008. With that said, the Democrats shouldn’t write off 2004 – they just need to find a true contender. Bush II can be beaten. Just because the current President has huge popularity/approval ratings is not guarantee of a repeat victory. President Clinton clearly demonstrated that when he defeated Bush I.
Remember, it's all about the economy STUPID!!!!

Well I've managed to get myself sick again! I suppose I ran myself ragged this past weekend and I'm coming down with another cold. I need someone to take care of me....

At the Messiah event, sitting 2 Boxes away from us was former Illinois Senator Paul Simon. He is now a professor at Southern Illinois University. As I saw him in the hallway after the event, I wanted to go up and introduce myself. More importantly, I wanted to ask him what he thought of Senator Trent Lott’s recent comments at Senator Strom Thurmond's 100 birthday party. But I resisted the temptation. After taking part in such a festive event, I didn’t want to ruin it by talking about politics.

But I still can’t believe Senator Lott made those bigoted comments. How could he have thought it was ok to say the following in 2002?:

“When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years, either."

I’m not one to kick the enemy when their down, but not only was his comments racist and insensitive, they were also politically stupid. I’m always amazed that in today’s world, people are still bold enough to publicly verbalize their racist thoughts and beliefs. More astonishing is that these remarks came from a major leader within the Republican Party. Isn't the Republican Party trying to court the black vote? Heck, even Senator Thurmond has denounced his own racist past. Thus it was good that President Bush strongly rebuked Lott. He was so right when he said:

"He (Lott) has apologized and rightly so. Every day our nation was segregated was a day that America was unfaithful to our founding ideals,"

So Senator Lott needs to resign as leader of the Senate; maybe even from the Senate completely. The fact that it took him 4 apologies to sound anywhere near sincere, shows his true character. As Andrew Sullivan points out:

"He fought integration of his college fraternity; he has hobnobbed with white supremacists; he submitted an amicus brief defending Bob Jones University's right to prohibit inter-racial dating; he has twice regretted the fact that Strom Thurmond didn't win the 1948 presidential election on an explicitly segregationist platform; he voted against the Voting Rights Act extension in 1982; in 1983 he voted against the Martin Luther King Jr holiday; last year, he cast the only vote against the confirmation of Judge Roger Gregory, the first black judge ever seated on the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals."

Clearly, Senator Lott still believes in the segregationist/racist policies that then Senator Thurmond campaigned on. So if he doesn’t resign, I can already see the campaign commercials being run by the Democrats in 2004. Someone like that doesn’t deserve to hold political office. He needs to be voted out!!!

Just got back from the 27th annual LaSalle Bank Do-It-Yourself Messiah at Civic Opera House Chicago. Composed in 1741 by George Frederic Handel, The Messiah is a large scale piece for orchestra, chorus and soloists. Originally intended as an Easter oratorio, it has become more popularly associated with the Christmas holiday season.

I've been told that I have a great voice and would do well as a phone-sex operator -- but I have a terrible singing voice. Nonetheless, it was good to take part in this holiday tradition with 3 other good friends. It definitely helped me get more into the Christmas spirit. My favorite part of this 2-hour sing along was the Halleluiah section. What a beautiful piece of music!!!!

After the Messiah ended, we went for complimentary drinks/food at The Tower Club. 37 floors up, we were treated to a spectacular view of the city.

Last night, I made it to 2 of the 3 parties. Both events were quite festive with lots of fun people to talk to. But with 1am approaching, thought it best to call it a night.

In reflecting on the night, can’t help but think I suffer from selective (or not so selective) memory loss. I use to think it only applied to things in my past I didn’t want to remember, but I’m now having my doubts. In talking to one of the people at the party who was a huge hockey fan, I mentioned that I went to a Chicago Blackhawks game last Friday night. When she proceeded to grill me about what happened at the game, I couldn’t really provided her with details. I couldn’t even say with certainty who the Blackhawks played. I blamed it on watching the game from a skybox. Then when another gal complimented me on the barrette I was wearing in my hair, I mentioned that I had originally purchased it earlier in year to wear at the Green Tie Ball. But then I couldn’t even remember where the Ball was held or who the sponsor of the event was. What is up with that? Both of these are cheery memories. Its one thing to forget the awful stuff, but it’s completely different to not remember the happy memories. So maybe it’s a good thing I’m doing this blog. I want to be able to better recall my own personal history.

Tonight I’ve got three holiday parties to attend. The first is a dinner party being hosted by a friend I met at Fourth Presbyterian Church . The other two are hosted by friends of another friend. It should be interesting to see if I really make it to all three. I’m so tired already. Gosh and it’s not even Christmas yet. Hmm, why do the holidays have to be so jammed packed? I like all the social events; I just wish they were spread out more. Come February, I’ll have nothing exciting to do. But hey, who's complaining? NOT ME!!

Ended up purchasing a fake Christmas tree. Decorated with white lights and ornaments purchased after Christmas last year at Bompany Company store. It looks beautiful. Well at least I think so. Even my cat Choo-Choo seems to be impressed. He can't stop staring at the lights. He's currently sitting on my curio Queen Anne end table, starring at the tree. I wonder what he's thinking. Initially, he tried to eat the tree but gave up after not being able to break a piece off. What is it with cats and plants? Thinking it’s a good thing I didn't purchase the real one.

My older sister and nephew who recent joined the United States Airforce are coming for the holidays. My sister is coming from Boston. My nephew is coming from Mississippi. They both arrive next Saturday. So I’ve got to start getting things organized. First order of business is to pull out the Christmas lights and ornaments. Then I'm heading off shortly to get a Christmas tree with my younger sister who lives here in Chicago. I put off getting the tree until now as I was debating whether or not to get a real or fake Christmas tree. Growing up, we always had a fake Christmas tree so was thinking I should get a real one for a change – they do smell wonderful! But I can't get past thinking there're just fire hazards.

Another important thing to get done this weekend, is sending off my Christmas cards. Every year I tell myself I'm going to send them out right after Thanksgiving, but I somehow never hold myself to that. It shouldn't be too bad though, all my names and adresses are organized in my palm pilot. The palm pilot was a gift from the job I started this past September. I kept meaning to buy one (I consider myself an early adopter), but got bogged down trying to figure out which one to get. Oh well!

Well I must be off. For an interesting article about how Christmas celebrations have evolved over the decades in the United States, click here.

Today is my Best Guy Friend's birthday. We met my senior year at the University of Michigan. What began 10 years ago as a romantic liaison has developed into a wonderful platonic friendship. It hasn't always been easy at times to be his friend, but our commonality keeps us close. Outside of my family, he is one of the few people in my life that I want to know when I'm old and gray. Strange but true. Strange because to know our complete history one would ask: why still be friends? But the thing that comes back to me time and time again is how he was there for me when I needed him most. I'll never forget that.

So here's to you my best guy friend! Happy 31st birthday!

I was so excited about setting up my blog last night that I woke up dreaming about blogland. Way cool! In the dream I was thinking about all these things I wanted to share. Only time will tell if I'm daring enough.

Btw, here's a blog from a friend of mine -- his blog along with a few others inspired me to go ahead and get one set up. We met while working at a start-up that shall remain nameless. Talk about a roller coaster ride. Thankfully I was able to get off without too many bruises.

Finally, I've taken the plunge. The plunge to set up a blog so I can share what some would describe as my secret history. Secret because most people who know me don't really know me. Much of my inner thoughts, opinions, wants, and desires are never really shared. And if so, only with a chosen few. Oh don't get me wrong, I'm a talker. Extremely opinionated. But I tend to hold certain things close to my heart. Blame it on my trust issues. A few years ago, I dismissed a group of friends because I never really felt I could trust them with my inner thoughts. You would have a private conversation with one of them, only to have it shared with the group. For me, it was betrayal of the worst kind. So my new willingness to be more open about my inner thoughts is a complete change of heart. A new beginning.

The inspiration for the title of this blog is Paul Thereoux . He is one of my favorite authors. He wrote a book entitled My Secret History. A celebrated author, he also wrote: The Mosquito Coast and Riding the Iron Rooster. But my favorite of his books is: The O-Zone. Set in a futurist society filled with nuclear waste, mutants, and aliens it is an interesting look at the world of the haves and the have-nots. A must read!

In any event, most agree that My Secret History while somewhat autobiographical is disguised as fiction. So, with this blog, I want to let others into my secret history. Mine is not as erotic or exotic, but it should make for interesting reading (I hope!). I'll share my opinions about what's going on in the world. More importantly, I'll share my inner thoughts. Talk about scary!! Over the years I've bought a few journals that to this day remain blank. As one boyfriend told me once about our relationship, "raw fear is what I feel” when I think about writing about what’s going on in my life. Fear that now that I'm putting myself out there, I won’t be able to handle the exposure. But I won't let that stop me. Brave I am! Hopefully for many, days, weeks, years to come!

So welcome to my world! Happy Reading.