Since I started the fitness challenge over two weeks ago, I’ve walked over 70 miles and will most likely walk over 100 miles by the time the challenge concludes. So quite pleased with myself for pushing through even on days where my heart and oh yeah my knees simply wasn’t in it!
But whereas the exercise is going well, the diet is complete rubbish. This past week I had chips (french fries) for dinner three nights in a row. Now I didn’t particularly enjoy the chips but yet, I didn’t have enough willpower to resist the temptation to go back on the second and third night.
Why? Well I worked late those evenings and I just didn’t feel like cooking. Also, I wanted some comfort food. A poor excuse, but that was my reality and so frustrated as I haven’t lost any weight. Thankfully, I haven’t really gained any either. But I know I need to do better. I need to learn to eat things in moderation because while there isn’t anything wrong with having chips for dinner, having it three nights in a row is simply not a winning strategy.
So starting tomorrow, I’m going to try for a week to only eat things I’ve cooked. This challenge within a challenge should make things very interesting and begin to bring a bit of discipline to my diet.
For the last two years, I’ve been trying to get closer to the ideal weight for my age, height and gender. For vanity but also health reasons.
So I got fanatical and watched what I eat and worked out – a lot! During moments of frustration/madness, I also tried a few extreme diets. One involved drinking this crazy maple syrupy drink that was sprinkled with cayenne pepper. It was the Beyonce inspired diet.
Now I knew it was crazy, just like all the others, but when you count calories and work out regularly and yet the scale doesn’t budge, you get desperate.
Anyway, not wanting to consider myself a total failure, I began to take comfort in achieving and maintaining a weight which is only twenty pounds from my ideal weight. If I fell off the wagon, I’d fret as I got closer to the number at which I decided, I must take drastic action. Thus, I weigh myself every morning.
This perhaps would be a bit much for most people but I’m not yet at the stage where I have my weight under control and so this is one of the things I must do to make sure I don’t backtrack.
In the middle of last week, I was two pounds away from the must take drastic action weight. As I’d been emotional eating for about ten days, it wasn’t really a surprise. Heck, I eat a 425g tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream on Thursday night all in one sitting.
The frustrating thing about this situation, is that I didn’t have the ice cream at home. I left my house around 9pm after an hour of internal dialogue trying to decide whether or not to go get it.
I felt so guilty about not having enough willpower to resist temptation, that even though I eat it all in sitting, I didn’t really enjoy it. And not surprisingly, when I got on the scale the next morning, I was heavier – by three pound to be exact! Yikes!
Then and there, I decided that starting at the weekend, I was going to recommit to working out. The recent boy drama was a trigger for backsliding but no point in letting things spiral out of control.
Enough with the takeaway meals and oh yeah, being so lazy that I don’t want to get up and out for my morning walk which has always been such a positive start to my day.
So I’ve set myself a new fitness challenge. What exactly? Well for the next twenty one days, I am going to walk for at least an hour a day – roughly three to four miles. Also, I am going to spend about 30minutes each day doing exercises to strength my lower back and knees.
Why twenty one days? Well research has shown it takes roughly twenty one days to successfully introduce/reintroduce a new routine into your life.
How am I going to keep myself honest? Well I’m posting activity to my RunKeeper account which updates my Facebook and Twitter feed. Also, by putting it here on my blog, I know I’ll do everything possible to successfully complete the challenge.
Failure is simply not an option. I can’t afford to relapse. Definitely not over boy drama!
So stay tuned. I hope to lose a stone (fourteen pounds) to get me back squarely in the comfort zone and on way to ideal weight.
I’m in a weird space. I’m tired and perhaps just still emotionally exhausted from all the recent drama. Also, must confess that I’ve been doing some emotional eating this past week and so end up shaking my head after seeing the number of the scale each morning. It’s going in the wrong direction!
So this weekend, whatever the weather, I’ve got to get back out there and start walking again. I can’t afford to continue on in this slumber because as noted by Robert Frost: “…life: it goes on.”
So time to once again call upon inner strength as letting go and moving on will be much better for me in the long run. Plus days spent mourning about really what never was, is wasting energy and most likely causing me to miss out on opportunities to enjoy all that life has to offer to the max!
I woke up feeling tired yesterday, Sunday. And as it was raining, I planned to just stretch out on the couch for much of the day.
However, around eleven, decided to check out Brixton Splash a free community street festival.
Now considering the riots in Tottenham, Brixton with its troubled history is probably the last place most people would think to go. However, because it was a family type event in the middle of the afternoon and I knew the police would be out in force, decided to give it a whirl.
I really wanted some jerk chicken with rice and peas – and as the festival would have a Caribbean flair, I thought, why not go! Plus I could also pick up some additional supplies (fish!) for the week.
So after putzing around a bit more, got myself together and managed to get to the event around 2pm. The police were indeed out in full force. They were at the train station and walking throughout the event.
I proceeded to walk around for some time jamming to the mostly Reggae music and people watching. I was also trying to decide which food stall I was going to eat at. I figured if I was going to blow my diet eating starchy calorie rich foods, I wanted to select the best option. That I would size up from the BBQ grill and number of people around the stall.
While in search, I found a stand selling coconuts for £2.50 each. Like the mango on Saturday for £2, while expensive, I just couldn’t pass it up. This was yet another thing I hadn’t gotten enough of while in Montserrat. So I drank the delicious coconut water and then eat the jelly. I almost got some sugar cane too, decided to save that treat for another day.
In any event, after the enjoyment of the coconut which totally made my day, I walked around even more, chatted to a few people and then settled on a place to purchase what would be my dinner. And in that I didn’t want to eat standing up, I decided to take it home. I really wanted to savour the food as I knew it would be some time before I would eat like this again.
Why? Well I don’t know how to cook Caribbean food. I know, scandalous! But in my defence, I was never in the kitchen growing up as a child and I thought I had a lifetime to learn from my mother. That was not to be. And now I’m better at cooking Italian dishes like lasagne than dishes that are native to my culture.
Shame really. Perhaps I can find someone to give me lessons. Or maybe I’ll meet a nice man of Caribbean heritage who knows how to cook. Wishful thinking, but hey – a girl can still dream!
I couldn’t stop thinking about mangoes so I went back to Sainsbury’s today. Heck, I went during the middle of my 16 mile walk while in Chislehurst. And yippee, they had some in stock. Yum! Yum!