Archive for the Family Category

Eighteen Years

It’s been eighteen years today since I held my mother’s hands as she took her last breath. Eighteen years since I heard her say her final words: “God is good.” Eighteen years since I picked up the bible as I heard the death rattle and read to her the Book of Psalms. And after all these years, it’s suppose to be easier. I’m not suppose to cry or even be angry because there has been enough time to bring about acceptance of it all. But I don’t know — it just all still seems so unfair that she was taken […]

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Happy 92nd Birthday Nenen

Today is Nenen’s birthday. Now 92, she is still very much young at heart and looking absolutely fabulous! So may God continue to bless her with a great memory and good health so that she can live long into the foreseeable future. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NENEN! Know that you are much loved by family and friends far and wide! As I reflect on her life these past nine decades, it hasn’t always been easy for her but she’s been quite resilient over the years. Also, instead of focusing on the disappointments, she pushes forward and focuses on the positive. Nothing really […]

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Protection

Today would have been my mom’s 59th birthday. And while she may be gone, she is still dearly missed and definitely not forgotten. Particularly as she is now my angel and as Robbie Williams said: “And through it all she offers me protection A lot of love and affection Whether I’m right or wrong And down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life won’t break me When I come to call she won’t forsake me I’m loving angels instead” She is my angel and I know won’t forsake me!

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Puffy Eyes

My suitcase is packed, but for now, I’m staying put. I ended up expressing my views to a number of family members who not surprisingly all make excuses for their lack of support during those early years after mom died. I don’t let them off easy and continue to hammer home my point. This is met with some resistance – apparently I need to just let it all go, but I’ll have none of it. Not until I get it all out. God damn it. I will be heard. Through all of it, I cry and my eyes not surprisingly […]

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Emotional

I am thinking of leaving. Why? Well after church today, the family gathers around my great grandmother’s grave for prayers. They then decided to visit my mother’s grave. Overcome with emotions and anger, I walk off. I want no part in the performance – the performance of them pretending to care. Because really, if they truly loved my mother, they would have done more for her children. They would have kept their promises. They would have been more supportive all these years. Of course none of them really understand. They for the most part, think I’m causing a scene – […]

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