Closure

So I haven’t heard from RacquetballGuy; not a word since he cut the holiday short and left prematurely last October. Heck, he didn’t even call or send a text to say that he arrived safely back in Chicago. I’m not surprised. I did tell him that if he left without us really trying to sort matters, I wanted no contact.
Enough was enough and I really meant it. In many ways, him being here had brought about the long desired closure I needed. Sure I had initially thought it would be a rekindling of our romance, but the reality is that I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t trust him to be there during the difficult times and so for me, that was a major deal breaker. I need someone in my life that isn’t going to retreat like a shrinking violet when things go wrong, when things get difficult.

So do I expect to hear from him at any point in the future? Yes! Men find it difficult to stay away. That’s not me being arrogant, that’s just the reality. And if he does move to London this spring, then I expect to hear from him, sooner rather than later. But the reality is that if when he calls, I won’t engage as I have nothing more to say to him. We’re not a match on any level. Thus, there is no room in my life for him. And no, I’m not interested in maintaining a friendship of any kind. Not at this stage in my life. I really don’t have time or the energy to deal with ex-boyfriends that I once thought could be my future husband and father to my children.

Heck, even if they weren’t “husband material,” I still don’t want to maintain contact. I’ve had to say this to MrFixItGuy a few times last year. Heck, I’ve ignored 99% of his calls and text messages and he still pursues. Comical really, because when I wanted him to pay attention to me, he was off being distracted elsewhere. And now that I want nothing to do with him, he’s is chasing and said he won’t give up until he wins me back.

Anyway, that’s that. I’m done with the dead weight. Time to move on and I know I can’t do that if I’m looking back and allowing these old relationships/friends to still dominate.

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