Avoidance

Calls and text messages from MrFixItGuy have all but stopped. Let’s hope they don’t start again.  For a while there, he was acting like a love sick teenage girl and calling all the time. Heck, in my phone I labelled him as STALKER. And as much as I felt sorry for him, I simply did not engage as I knew it would give him further encouragement to try and woo me back. Since that is never going to happen, I just ignored his please baby please take me back voice and text messages.

With regards to EngineerGuy, we’ve had a couple conversations but no date. Truthfully, my heart is simply not in it as the guy has clearly been wounded by past lovers and thus his confidence is not what it should. So I’ve now started dogging his calls. I know, terrible of me!

On another note, a new love interest emerged but quickly disappeared. Well I sort of sent him on his merry way. We met one Saturday evening while out with friends. He took his time to phone, but hey, I wasn’t really
sweating it. Then he invited me out on a dinner date but the day of the actual outing, switched to just drinks. His words to me were that I should go home, have dinner and sort myself out before meeting him. Now considering that it was midweek and it was going to cost me a small fortune (ok, £8) to go into the city, and I would need to order takeout in time to meet him as I had no food in my house and I’m not a drinker, I just called the whole thing off.

I should also mention that every time he called me his phone number came up as blocked and oh yeah on both occasions I did call him after he finally gave me a number, it went to voice mail. So it was all a bit suspect. He had that bad boy look to him and I’m so over that type.

Moving on, I did join a dating site and I’ve gotten a few winks and emails but can’t really engage as I haven’t put in my credit card. Why you ask? Well, as much as I say I’m ready to date, but heart isn’t really in it. Ok, that’s not completely true. I do want a boyfriend but I’m sort of consumed with thoughts of Basherter. Now considering my past experience with boyfriends in distant lands, in the last year I have been ruthless and have turned down any advance that came from men who didn’t live in the UK. But not him — I’m drawn in and I feel emotional connected. This is helped by the fact that he has a lot of the qualities I desire in a partner. But the emotional pull is perhaps a bit unwarranted as it’s not like we have spent any time together to really merit what I feel. And despite his suggestions that we cool things and not flirt, it happens anyway. Heck, just last week I was trying not to engage too much and he send a chat message saying: don’t make me wait so long. Now considering we have spoken two days prior, I was really surprised. We are clearly drawn to each other, but in trying to be sensible we are both sending mixed signals.

So, what to do? What to do? The smart thing would be to cut off contact for awhile, but I can’t bring myself to say this is what I think we need to do. And really, I’m not sure that would work because efforts to not think of him just make me think of him more. So I pray about the situation and hope for a resolution sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I’m going to have to start doing as CanadaGuy suggested and seriously go on some dates. I think it’s the only way get him out of my mind and who knows, I might actually meet my Prince. So dear God, please give me strength and courage to actually follow through.

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